Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Did I do a terrible thing?

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice Did I do a terrible thing?

Viewing 12 posts - 13 through 24 (of 128 total)
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  • #1097602 Reply
    Bittergaymark
    Guest

    I am really put off by those saying the LW needs to give the dog back. That’s basically handing the dog a death sentence. Seriously. What? You think some “kind” shelter will take real good care of the dog while this person gets their life together? Seriously? Hah. Now there’s a concept even more naive than the LW.

    #1097604 Reply
    Kate
    Keymaster

    I think they should make a good-faith effort to contact the woman and give her back her dog, yes. Pets are actually personal property. We’re not hearing evidence of the dog being abused. We don’t know what’s going on with this woman, or if she has stable family who can care for the dog. We don’t know if the dog provides emotional support that she needs, or has medical issues or what. Whether it’s her kid, her bike, or her pet, no one has the right to just take it from her and keep it.

    #1097605 Reply
    ktfran
    Participant

    I don’t have a solution for you. And frankly, I completely understand why you wouldn’t want to get the cops involved. This is exactly why less money should be spent on cops and more money on mental health and/or drug resources. There really wasn’t a good option.

    If the cops had taken her, like everyone suggested the LW should have let happen, what would have happened to the dog? Do they drop it off a kennel? It wouldn’t have been allowed in the police station or hospital. I’m also guessing the police would have just put woman in a cell overnight?

    Really, no good solutions. At this point, I think I’d try to connect with her about the dog, but honestly, the dog is probably better off with you.

    #1097606 Reply
    Kate
    Keymaster

    Would she have been in that situation with the police if the LW hadn’t intervened?

    I think, sure, offer someone a meal and maybe a train fare or something, but cash and hotel rooms could actually put them at added risk.

    #1097607 Reply
    Idk2021
    Guest

    She told me she has no family locally. I can’t confirm this though as she told me a lot of things that were lies, including that she has the dog since she was a child and while I can’t confirm the dog is not a service dog I did take him to the vet and he is only 6 months old. He is also not microchipped so I can’t use that to locate her family. This is my biggest issue. I agree with Mark. Based on what I saw I think his dog is likely a goner if I return him however I am having a really hard time reconciling taking him. I thought I was doing the right thing at the time.

    #1097608 Reply
    Idk2021
    Guest

    I also find myself paranoid when I leave my house that she will be there and kick my ass or worse.

    #1097609 Reply
    ktfran
    Participant

    I do agree that would have been the better option to begin with @kate. It’s a no-win situation all around. The LW wanted to help, but realistically not much can be done. It sucks.

    #1097610 Reply
    Kate
    Keymaster

    Oh so you gave her your address too?

    #1097611 Reply
    Idk2021
    Guest

    I didn’t give her my address but I did tell her the area we were in was my neighborhood during our initial conversation. She never came anywhere near my actual home but if she really wanted to I’m sure she could find me.

    #1097612 Reply
    LisforLeslie
    Guest

    So you attempted to help someone and honestly, I don’t understand what you thought was going to happen. That you’d give this person a motel room for two days, she’d shower and sleep and then you’d reunite her with her dog and then what? She’s still fucking homeless. She’s still jobless. Even without the mental illness on top of everything else.

    If you want to help people who are down on their luck, which is a nice sentiment, volunteer at a soup kitchen. Go to charitynavigator.org and verify charities in your area or that interest you and before sending them a little cash. A charity can purchase and distribute meals for pennies versus handing someone a $20 or taking them for fast food.

    I don’t know what to do about the dog. Part of me thinks you should send it to a no-kill shelter then text her where she can get her dog and re-block her.

    #1097613 Reply
    Idk2021
    Guest

    Assuming she’s lucid enough to even remember me or the area. She spent the whole time thinking I was some friend of hers from high school and wouldn’t listen when I tried to correct her. I’ve lived in my city for years. She’s not the first person I’ve tried to help she’s just the first person to scare the fuck out of me. I just wish I had someone other than the cops to call.

    #1097614 Reply
    Kate
    Keymaster

    A 6-month old small breed puppy would 100% get adopted, but you should still let her know what’s up. This thing about kicking your ass sounds ridiculous, but it’s more likely to happen if you keep her dog than if you give it back, no?

Viewing 12 posts - 13 through 24 (of 128 total)
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