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Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Did I do a terrible thing?

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice Did I do a terrible thing?

  • This topic has 127 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 1 week, 1 day ago by pool cover pump above ground.
Viewing 12 posts - 49 through 60 (of 128 total)
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  • #1097646 Reply
    Idk2021
    Guest

    @FYI I actually see a therapist weekly and will be discussing this at my appointment on Thursday.

    #1097647 Reply
    Kate
    Keymaster

    What did they say last week?

    #1097648 Reply
    Idk2021
    Guest

    She told me I overstepped and needed to think about it.

    #1097649 Reply
    Kate
    Keymaster

    That’s a start!

    #1097650 Reply
    Vathena
    Guest

    Seriously though, you stole someone’s dog and it doesn’t seem like you have any plans to give it back. If you wanted to, there are certainly ways to do it safely, in a public place or through an animal shelter. It’s possible that this dog was the only thing keeping this woman tethered to reality. Can you imagine that you’re homeless, alone, scared, probably mentally ill/using drugs, and then some stranger offers to help you but actually just sends you off to a strange neighborhood and then steals your dog? I mean…I couldn’t really blame her if she did want to kick your ass, under those circumstances. As far as she knows, you set out to intentionally steal her dog and now she has no chance of ever seeing it again. Can you imagine the distress that would cause a person? It’s pretty bonkers that you just decided to block her number and keep the dog, for over a week!! Who knows what has happened to her in that time? So yes, to answer your question, I think you did do something terrible. I’m not sure why you wrote in if you didn’t want to hear an answer.

    #1097651 Reply
    Vathena
    Guest

    And I agree with FYI that it’s bizarre that you’d entirely drain your bank account over this. That’s not rational, even at 3am. The situation is strange enough that it makes me think it’s possible this is another fake letter, designed to elicit outrage from a group of commenters known to be dog lovers…

    #1097655 Reply
    Idk2021
    Guest

    I can assure you nothing about this story is fake. I never set out to steal a dog. I honestly was more inclined to help her BECAUSE she has a dog. As I’ve said several times I was not prepared for the turn the night took. My goal was to find her AND her dog a safe place to stay when the shelter reopened on Monday. I know it was not my place to take the dog but in the middle
    Of the night surrounded by screaming people and the cops on their way I just made a snap decision. If I honestly set out to steal someone’s dog why would I even write this? I’d be chilling with my stolen dog and not eaten up with guilt enough to write to an advice column and let people rip me a new asshole for the better part of a day. As I’ve said I am looking into options to get this girl help and figure out what to do with the dog. I just personally don’t feel that Me OR the dog is safe around this girl based on our interaction that night. I wish I had more trust in cops so I could’ve let them take her but I just don’t.
    I also I don’t think I’m trying to elicit outrage from “a group of known dog lovers” since only a few of the commenters think the dog was unsafe in the situation and I know for a fact that the dog was unsafe. You all didn’t hear this girl, you didn’t see her, and don’t know what it was like. I am trying to rectify it but it seems the only thing that would make this group happy is if I call her and arrange to give her the dog back. So yes I wrote in to ask if I did a terrible thing. Most people said yes and I accept that. I’m not saying it’s not terrible I’m just saying I can’t rectify it the way most of you want me to and I’m glad there are at least a few people who understand why.

    #1097726 Reply
    Kate
    Keymaster

    Sorry everyone, this accidentally got moved to a “drafts” folder last night.

    LW any updates?

    #1097731 Reply
    Ele4phant
    Guest

    OP give her her dog back. It’s not your dog.

    Again it is the impact of your actions, not your intentions, that matter.

    And the impact is that this woman – who clearly has little stability in her life, had her one companion taken away.

    For gosh sake, text her to meet you somewhere public, and ask your biggest, most muscled up friend to escort you if you’re so worried about her being volatile.

    #1097735 Reply
    LisforLeslie
    Guest

    You didn’t intend to do a terrible thing but your actions negatively impacted this woman’s life and you’re out a significant chunk of change.

    Now you have a stranger’s dog. I get it. This woman is not in control and you’re right, she’s probably dangerous. But she’s unlikely going to come after you, that implies that she has the mental wherewithal, and based on your description… unlikely.

    Just text her to pick the dog up from a shelter. You gave her a lot of money. Hopefully she has some left. Or leave the dog tied to the front of a grocery or convenience store and text her to pick the dog up. If the dog gets picked up by animal control, well, someone will adopt that pet.

    #1097737 Reply
    anonymousse
    Participant

    No one said you were prowling the streets, with all the money you have apparently stuffed in your pockets, trying to steal a dog.

    But you DID steal a dog, and all these people and your therapist are telling you that. So unblock her and give her the dog back. Seriously. You committed a criminal action by stealing her dog.

    #1097739 Reply
    Kate
    Keymaster

    There’s no valid reason to be afraid to unblock her and ask if she’d like her dog back. You should discuss this fear with your therapist.

Viewing 12 posts - 49 through 60 (of 128 total)
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