Ill try to keep this short, even though it feels like forever.

Ive been divorced for 3 years now, but apart for almost 5. During the beginning of my separation I started dating a man who was also in the beginning stages of his divorce (we previously knew each other for years) That relationship really put me through some trauma, because he was almost never available and going though a tremendous amount of his own personal struggles (rightfully so). But he would be very hot and cold I kept waiting for him to be ready and it just continued to feel very drug out and in slow motion. My ex-husband and I knew we weren’t right for each other and went through the process fairly quickly all things considering. My boyfriends divorce did not go that way at all.

About a year and a half ago, I was fed up with his stagnancy and the way he was behaving, so I broke off the relationship. It was immensely painful because I was very much in love with him, and he was with me, the timing just did not seem to be right and my needs were not getting met in that relationship. I went to therapy and have been working though my feelings for him.

We keep in touch minimally, but a few months ago I started seeing someone else who is available and good to me. But my ex-boyfriend reached out recently and updated me on his divorce and how its finalized and that he did everything that was necessary for us to be able to have a relationship etc.

I now feel very anxious about what to do. This man who I love very much is finally telling me that he is available right after I began the process of moving on from him. All I ever wanted was to be with him, but I’m scared that the relationship is not going to meet my needs like before but him and I share a tremendous amount of history and connection, unlike anything I have ever experienced in my life. I also don’t want to hurt the guy I am with, so I just feel very confused and scared about how to manage this.

Not so short, I guess.

Thanks for reading. Any advice will be appreciated. 🙂

• This topic was modified 4 weeks ago by Dear Wendy.