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Doublelist.com- Should I believe him?

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  • This topic has 27 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 3 months ago by avatarLadyPants.
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  • #841409 Reply
    avatarlili2009
    Member

    Last night- by total accident (I know we all say that) but this time it’s true. I was distracted by my boyfriend of almost 7yrs iPad notification of an email. Curious me, clicked into it and it was an add on Doublelist.com. I have never heard of this sight or what it’s use. I imagine casual hook ups but Here’s the kicker, it was for guys seeking guys. Never in a million years would I ever think my man would be down for that. It’s hard to describe him but he just would never be the type. I guess I’m wrong? I confronted him and he had no idea what I was talking about. I showed him evidence and still he had no idea. Saying that was not him. He was defensive that I accused him of homosexual encounters. I mean, I would be too. My conflict is not exactly that I found some conversation but after confronting him I decided to go through the deleted photos of his iPad and found a picture of his asshole. He definitely did not send that picture to me. Tell me that doesn’t add up!? I’m so lost. I want to believe him that maybe it’s a scam, because the site seems to stem from Craigslist but the deleted photo doesn’t match. Any and all help and advice is very appreciated. I feel sick.

    #841412 Reply
    avatarPoppy
    Member

    Are you sure its his asshole? Did you confront him about that picture and what was his response? If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and LOOKS like a duck then its a duck. Unless someone else has used his iPad or unless he is dicking (LOL) around with Craigslist ads or this websites ads to mess around with people looking to hook up then he sounds guilty of being curious of exploring his sexuality with others regardless of homosexuality or hetero. If this is the case then he is cheating on you.

    #841413 Reply
    avatarKate
    Guest

    This post reads like spam for this website, tbh, like you want us to click the link.

    If this is real, seeing or hearing a notification for an email on spouse’s iPad is NOT justification for snooping!!! My husband leaves his iPad around making alert noises and I’ve never once checked.

    Also, i get ADS all the time in my email, for all kinds of things like “bang sexy chicks.” It doesn’t mean I’ve ever gone on any kind of site like that.

    And maybe he took a pic of his asshole to look at a hemerhoid or ingrown hair.

    What the hell?

    #841415 Reply
    avatarPoppy
    Member

    @kate Yea, I thought so too. Im not checking it out. I get spam sexual content mail but it goes to my junk mail. And sometimes I get a text spam for sexual content. It could be simply that. And ive never taken a pix of my anus but those are good points as why he might have.

    #841416 Reply
    avatarLili
    Guest

    I’m sorry. I’m new to the site. I did not mean for it to come off as spam. We’ve had a
    Problem in the past which is why it’s almost like Pavlov’s dog, maybe it’s messed up. I get that, invasion of privacy. It’s a trust issue, obviously. I thought this was a safe, judgement free forum. I apologize.

    #841417 Reply
    avatarLili
    Guest

    It wasn’t just a spam, I get those too. It was communication via email listing his age and that he was new to this. And couldn’t plan a meet up last night but maybe over the weekend, (when I’ll be out of town). I have confronted him on both email and photo and he says I will not believe anything I say due to our past and that he can’t even fathom a story or that he’s not smart enough to understand what is happening. The picture would make sense, I get it. Ya need to check things out below but with all of this happening at the same time, it’s hard to believe. appreciate input.

    #841425 Reply
    avatarPoppy
    Member

    Lili, I hope im not coming off as judgemental. That’s not my intent. The way it is worded in the subject line does make it look like this could be a scam. But that said since you have updated and confirmed it is not then I’ll say its very likely he isnt being honest with and was either going to or has been engaging in sexual activity with someone. Perhaps you cansit down and ask him again and listen to his reason for it. If you dont like his reason and do not trust him then it’s time to end the relationship.

    #841427 Reply
    bagge72bagge72
    Participant

    Clicking on someone’s email notification is 100% not a totally accidental way of snooping on them. That is done with 100% intention, maybe even 110% if your into sports. But yeah he’s very embarrassed by what you found out about him, and will probably deign it

    #841429 Reply
    avatarKate
    Guest

    Ok, so he did something to hurt your trust in the past… and you caught him in some type of online M4M conversation. He’s lying. He’s cheating or trying to cheat. I would insist he go to counseling so you can get to the bottom of this.

    #841430 Reply
    avatarLili
    Guest

    Poppy, you’re totally right on my subject. I was in a tizzy when I was writing. I should probably change that lol. Thank you for your insight. It just doesn’t add up and badly as I want to try and believe him. I think you’re right, best to really take a look at where our relationship is headed.

    #841431 Reply
    avatarLili
    Guest

    I tend to approach things on reactions and instinct which has not been the best in trying to get my point across. Any suggestions on how to handle a situation such as this? With out trying to accuse and yell- do we both seek counseling or call it quits?

    #841432 Reply
    avatarKate
    Guest

    You tell him you need him to go with you to see a professional to help facilitate conversation and see how you can work through things and rebuild trust. If he won’t do that, the message for him is that you need to leave.

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