Emotional abuse
- This topic has 3 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 3 months, 1 week ago by
.
-
Posts
-
I’m in a relationship with someone who I feel I just constantly work for. He has told me a few times that he doesn’t know if he wants to be with me. I accepted it and then he will contact me and say he has made a mistake. I’m constantly telling him I just want us to be kind to one another. He goes distant and I seem to work even harder. He questions everything I do to the point where I start to hit myself because I feel so tortured. I apologise for everything just to ease the argument. I feel very lonely so I suffer him to have someone In my life . I am starting to feel hatred towards him and I don’t know to manage it. Im afraid to be alone
You’re already alone. This isn’t a functional relationship and it’s turned you into someone you don’t want to be.
You’ll probably feel a huge amount of relief once you end it. If he then starts to give you the attention you want, know that it’s because he wants to be the one in control and not that he actually wants an equal loving partnership with you.Therapy will definitely help. And while being alone is scary, this relationship is really damaging you. I think your partner knows you are scared to be alone and is using that to control you, make you constantly work to please him. I think you’ll be happier if you end things.
I remember feeling very lonely after my previous relationship ended, and scared that I would never find another life partner. Here are some things I did to help ease my loneliness. Maybe some of them will work for you.
* I started making more effort to make plans with friends.
* I started pet-sitting through rover.com. Animals are great company and the money was a nice extra. If you are in a position to do so, you could also foster or adopt a pet.
* I did some volunteer work. It’s a great way to meet people and have a feeling of purpose.
* I started thinking about all the small things that brought me joy and making time to do them. Lounging around on a weekend morning drinking coffee and reading a good book. Listening to my favorite music. Taking long walks. Watching the movies and TV shows *I* wanted to watch.
* I got regular exercise, which was good for both my physical and mental health.
* I started planning a trip just for myself, somewhere I wanted to go and where I wouldn’t have to compromise a single thing for another person’s preferences.Ironically, not long after I started doing all this and enjoying a rich and fulfilling life, I started dating the man I’m now engaged to. It’s a very healthy relationship because we were both content with our single lives so we aren’t dependent on each other. We don’t stay because we’re scared to leave, we stay because we truly want to be here and bring each other a lot of happiness. You deserve to be with someone who makes you feel very happy.
I hope you take some time to make yourself the top priority in your life.
