Ex bf has been isolating himself

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  • Leslie
    April 7, 2023 at 2:14 am #1119535

    Me and my ex bf, had more or less a great relationship. We loved each other a lot. We started dating when we were really young, so we were definitely both very insecure and had our own share of problems, but we still loved each other.

    When we finally broke up, he left pretty coldly, like he didn’t care. We had been having a rocky time, and he had a lot of major major problems in his life, and he left me just too coldly.
    I was pretty sad and worried for him, so I’d reach out often to see if he’s doing okay, most of the times, he wouldn’t even respond. Eventually I stopped doing that and decided that there’s no good in waiting, especially since he literally said, he didn’t want me to. I decided to cut all contact. I briefly tried to pursue someone else, but they were really mean to me and took advantage of me, so that didn’t really go anywhere.

    Well me and ex reconnected after 1.5 years. One of our mutual friends told him about that guy, 6 months prior, around the same time I got him back on instagram. He didn’t reach out cause he thought it’d not be good. Said that since I cut him off an year ago, he hoped that I’d text him on his birthday, and that he’d send me this apology he had been working on for over an year. But he found out 3 days earlier, that I had been taken advantage of and that, that made him very sad and confused. He showed me all sorts of proof, his friends confirmed. He said that he’s an insecure person and currently his life problems are even worse, so we cannot be together. He tried to spare my feelings and was being very formal.

    We talked some more and told him that I want to know the truth. That well, you know had he been honest earlier, we could’ve salvaged our relationship. Well after talking for a long time we admitted that we loved each other, but that it’s best to be no contact. He told me not to halt his life for him.

    He had a very turbulent childhood, and since he changed schools a lot, he didn’t get to have nostalgic memories as a child with his friends. So he really disliked that. He hoped to make some in college, he couldn’t do that because of financial struggles, he had to get a job. His family dynamic also got sour. He saved up money multiple times, but it got spent because of some crisis out of nowhere. His reasons for insecurity are well not just me, but he feels that currently he doesn’t feel good about himself and that he’d doubt me constantly because of the same.

    He’s been isolating himself in a way. He cut me off after talking to me, he only has 2-3 friends at the moment (I’m glad he does), and his parents ig (who have issues of their own), he told me he likes being alone and uses reddit to post sometimes. I’m worried that these are not good signs, but I can’t stay back, because in a way, while I bring him comfort (he says I make him too comfortable), I’m also somewhat a source of problem. Is there anything I can do for him?

    April 7, 2023 at 2:23 am #1119536

    Please read this comment as well!
    Perhaps this is normal too, maybe he just needs to be away from all secondary responsibilities that come with talking to people for a bit. People overwhelm me too sometimes, and if I had the faculties, I would also enjoy taking a break for a while. Has anyone been in a similar situation?

    April 7, 2023 at 5:29 am #1119537

    He is moving on, and you should, too. I’d recommend blocking him completely. He doesn’t want to be contacted by you.

    April 7, 2023 at 6:17 am #1119538

    He is a waste of time because he doesn’t want you.

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Ex bf has been isolating himself

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