August 28, 2021 at 10:55 am #1097077misses98Participant
My parents hate each other and also me. When it gets bad, which is pretty often, there are death threats and violence. My father’s telling me that I am “nothing but his balls”, and my mother has asked me to go kill myself, just some place away from here. I’ve become scared of hearing steps. These situations have caused my panic attacks to become seizures. My father is financially abusive and refuses to help out with stuff at home, like, allowing us about 200 to get through a month. A family member works 5 days a week, but gets only about 350 for it, and with that he has to actually collect money for himself, ie driver license, food, mobile phone bill etc, and support home, which is impossible. He’s also being abused in here, called useless and stuff. He’s not accepted in better jobs.
I and another family member don’t even have clothes, I go around at home with old ones that have fucking holes, and don’t change for weeks. Taking a shower means receiving a threatening behavior from my father. I am also suffering from multiple sclerosis, epilepsy and mental health issues, making it hard to be functional. I have access to free doctors about MS etc, but I still need to spend a lot on medical tests.
I can’t get some financial support from the government, because my parents are still married and the income is shown to be my father’s money. He’s threatened to leave the house and stop helping at all, and if he does so, we will go homeless. He made all the family’s savings vanish, but we can’t do anything about it, because it was under his name, in his own bank account. He won’t say what he did with them.
I worked till about a year ago, but it was just an internship and my wage was 100-200, for working full time, 4 days a week along having to attend classes. Even the fact that I had this internship was thanks to my classes. I was even rejected at a “job” of giving out leaflets on the road. I’d bought a mobile phone because mine had stopped working, while I was still working, with my own money, and my father was threatening to me because of this for about a year.
I wasn’t able to complete the internship due to health issues rising up a couple of months before it would end, so I didn’t get any proof for those 2 years I worked on it. I am waiting for another similar program with classes + internship to start and follow through (for another ridiculous wage that won’t let me do anything) but I have no idea if I will be able to make it through, mostly because of the dizziness and the panic attacks/seizures.
I am so fucking lost and see no hope in anything. I HATE it here, I have never had personal space, I have never been allowed to talk on the phone without being interrogated, they try to even look upon my phone, or the computer when I am using it. I will never get well or make it anywhere in life as long as I am stuck with those people.
My father left me alone while having a seizure and didn’t notify anyone I needed help, he’s also laughing at my panic attacks/seizures.
I AM FUCKING SICK OF THIS
August 29, 2021 at 10:47 am #1097101misses98Participant
- This topic was modified 3 months, 1 week ago by misses98.
Thank you all for ignoring me ❤August 29, 2021 at 11:11 am #1097102FYIGuest
No one is ignoring you. Replies are not instant.
These issues are best addressed by a counselor at your school. Even if you are not actively enrolled right now (I can’t tell), you can go to your school’s counseling office and show them this post. Ask them for a reference for a free social worker, and ask them for ongoing support sessions.
You need ongoing, outside help from professionals because there are multiple, intertwining issues to navigate.
Only suggestion I would have is to try not to waste too much energy focusing on their behavior, or on waiting for them to be different. Try to focus on the steps you are taking toward a solution for you.August 29, 2021 at 11:12 am #1097103Karebear1813Participant
how old are you?August 29, 2021 at 11:17 am #1097104KateKeymaster
You’re over 18, right? And have diagnoses. I would definitely try to talk to a counselor at your university system and tell them you don’t feel safe at home and need to get out, and that you’re disabled.
You appear to be in a European country and I have no idea what public services are available to you, but you might be able to get help from the government in the form of benefits. (If you move out of your parents’ home or declare yourself not a dependent of theirs).
- This reply was modified 3 months ago by Kate.