Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Family problems. Need advice ASAP

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This topic contains 96 replies, has 15 voices, and was last updated by avatar keyblade 4 months, 3 weeks ago.

Viewing 12 posts - 25 through 36 (of 97 total)
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  • #742909
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    Shelby

    Haha okay. You’re right. You’re not rude at all. You’re not mocking my situation at all! You’re not being condescending in the way you’re talking about my problems at all! Was it not you who just paraphrased my original post into a few words that make me sound like a spoiled bitch ? Once again I’m sorry my emotional issues don’t equate to your standards of what a real problem is.
    Have a nice day trolling advice websites and being rude to people who need help and come to places like this for it because they don’t have anyone else to talk to and can’t afford professional counseling. Maybe this was my last straw. If that helps you sleep better at night-
    God speed friend!

    #742910
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    Kate

    Your question was: “Am I just being petty and petulant like a child would be?”

    And the answer is yes.

    #742911
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    Shelby

    It is an exciting time for me after living in a 500 sq ft studio for a long time. Struggling from month to month and being able to finally move up in the world. Sorry if that doesn’t mean anything to you. But I’m allowed to be excited and happy to have space to breath, be out of a mild crisis, and have central air finally.

    And if you knew my father- you wouldn’t exactly want to be having conversations with him either ! Especially after being shunned a lot of your life ! You don’t know peoples backgrounds. Talking things out is not always as easy as it looks or sounds. Rational people know this.

    #742912
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    Kate

    You actually sound not okay at this point.

    #742913
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    anonymousse
    Member

    Wow, you need a lot more help than this or any site can give you. If you need my comments, I was not rude or condescending. I made a few jokes about the lease signing, because that is exactly what you were complaining about at first. Which is trivial at your age and stage in life.

    Read your rude comments and tell me how I was so much worse than you?

    There are free counselors available. There are even apps that can give you connections to counselors or therapists. You flipping out and being rude and nasty to people who gave you reasonable advice tells me there’s more than one reason your parents have created distance and why you have no one else to talk to about this.

    I’m sorry you had a rough childhood, whatever that entails, you need to get a handle on your reactions and your behavior. You can’t control anyone else’s. No one swore at you or called you names.

    Yeah, I just sit around trolling sites to make jokes. That’s me.

    #742914
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    Shelby

    Mold crisis*. We have both been very sick for a long time and recently found out it was due to mold growing in our last apartment. Another reason we moved.

    #742916
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    Shelby

    How do I sound not okay ?

    #742917
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    anonymousse
    Member

    If you won’t talk with him, why would you expect him to come visit or talk to you? Come to your senses about who and how he is. Clearly nothing he does is right. After awhile, people stop trying.

    #742918
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    Shelby

    Okay I give up. You’re Right. I’m wrong. Totally crazy and need to get into therapy right away. Nice. also thanks Kate! For pointing out that I’m not okay. As if I didn’t already know that and need another reminder. Thanks (:

    #742922
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    dogmom

    Shelby, I really hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but have you considered therapy? I know you said you only recently could afford to move into a nicer/bigger apartment so I don’t know if you can find low- or no-cost options near you. But I suggest it because my mother is a paranoid schizophrenic/malignant narcissist, and it took me years of therapy both to undo the damage she’s done to me (hint: you never really undo it, it’s always there somewhere) and to accept that she will never be the mother I want/need her to be and we will never have the kind of relationship I want with her. It sounds like you could use some help from a qualified professional to sort through your relationship with your parents. Seriously, I’m not ragging on you — I understand what it’s like to have a parent who disappoints you. So maybe when everything has settled down from your move, you should consider looking into whether your job as an employee assistance program or whether there are low- or no-cost counseling options in your town. I really do wish you the best of luck in this.

    #742923
    Moneypenny
    Moneypenny
    Participant

    Well dang.
    Ok it sounds like there are two related issues here. Regarding your moving. It sounds like your new place is above and beyond better than your old place. That’s awesome! But clearly it’s going to feel like a much bigger deal to you since you’re the one dealing with the mold and the smallness, etc. (I lived in a 500sf studio by myself once, and it would have been really tight with 2 people and cats so I get it.) Putting it in perspective, it’s going to be a big deal to you and less so to other people. That’s just how it is.

    Now regarding your parents, clearly there’s underlying issues there. If they’re mainly with your father, can you talk to your mother? Or one of your siblings? Have you always looked to your father for approval and not received it? It sounds like that might be part of the problem. If you don’t feel that you can, for whatever reason, talk to either of your parents, the suggestions to talk to a counselor or a therapist is a good one. It could also help with your anxiety. Something to look into.

    #742924
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    Kate

    Yes, time to get real help. I’m only telling you how you sound. Your question was, am I overreacting. Everyone says, yeah, you actually are, and you have a total meltdown.

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