feeling betrayed by my closest friend

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  • elina
    September 9, 2023 at 7:00 pm #1125337

    Hi, i’m 17yo girl and so is my “friend”. We were hanging out with her friends (who are all men), we were walking around the city late at night and came the moment of going home. She was supposed to come back with me so i dont walk alone at night (the walk was about 40min and the city is not always safe especially for girls). But she choose to go with the guys and sleep at her boyfriend’s house.For me, I would never let a girl walk alone at night even if i didnt like the girl bc girls protect girls? She asked me if i was ok with it and i said yes even if that was bothering me because i didnt wanted to bother her (kinda dumb). Also, she said to me before i go “oh im such a bad friend are you really okay? didnt you have fun tonight?” in front of the guys but she let me go anyways… So my questions is what do i do with her? She is a dear friend to me but i feel kinda let down and i feel like i give her too much consideration like we are not on the same page idk how to explain.. Thank you for reading it’s a bit long and english isn’t my first language sorry for the mistakes 🙂

    September 9, 2023 at 8:22 pm #1125338

    She asked you numerous times if you were okay, an every time you said yes, not to bother her. Because you didn’t want to bother her, you walked home alone. Next time, speak up.

    You told her you were fine with walking alone multiple times. Why didn’t you say, “No, I’m not cool with this. We had an agreement to walk back together, please walk back with me.” Or “No, can you please walk me home first?”

    In future, speak up and don’t play cool just because she’s with her boyfriend. Care about yourself more than whether your friend is bothered or not.

    September 10, 2023 at 9:12 am #1125351

    Something very important to remember: No one has ESP. She can’t read your mind. Never expect someone to “just know” what’s on your mind.

    I know it’s easy to say to yourself “But she should have known I felt this way.” This is unrealistic.

    Talk to your friend in a quiet time and tell her that you felt pressured to “be cool” and you were really scared. Ask her to not put you in that position in the future, that you’ll agree at the beginning of the evening how you’re both getting home and then you both stick to that plan.

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feeling betrayed by my closest friend

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