June 7, 2018 at 12:59 pm #756141anonymousseParticipant
Why does it matter that she is, in your eyes, friendless, Skyblossom?
Most of her adult friends probably have kids also, so it’s not really convenient to watch her child for a night. Preschools in my area just got out for the summer. A lot of families are going on vacation in my neighborhood. Maybe no one is around, or is busy with their own families. There’s also a difference between being casual friends and wanting someone to stay over at your house/potentially sleep in your bed.
And she works nights.
All of that is to say, you don’t know her situation, so why are you so set on judging her?
I guess I just don’t really understand why you are commenting so much about how friendless, non nurturing the mother in this scenario is. She asked her sister to watch her son for one night, and LW agreed. Whether she asked everyone she knew or she didn’t doesn’t really have anything to do with this at this point, and I’m really not understanding your speculations about her personal life and how they figure into this at all.June 7, 2018 at 1:53 pm #756147BittergaymarkGuest
Well, it’s no great mystery why the LW has no kids…June 7, 2018 at 2:28 pm #756155dmarieMember
The reason I think you have to do this is because you said you would.
If you had said no from the beginning and stuck with it, you would have been fine but backing out on her now is pretty bad. I do think in general people are more willing to go out of the way for people who go out of the way for them though.
I have done a ton of babysitting and now have 3 of my own and in general I’d always go for the overnight. Some kids are exceptions of course but most 2 year olds go down between 7-9 and get up maybe once. Find out from your sister what the favorite shows are and youtube them if you need to to calm any tears and make sure to make it seem super fun. And mom tip, 2 year olds totally can’t tell time so if you feel really flustered you can put them to bed 15-20 min early and they will never know. We still pull this with my kids on NYE. Like OMG its the new year (….at 10 pm) I hope everything works out for you and next time just tell her no if you’re really uncomfortable.June 7, 2018 at 10:57 pm #756248saneincaGuest
@BGM what a keen observation ?
as the LW herself said, she does not want a child and chose not to have one. you should approve of it given your contempt for so called breeders.
The sister gets plenty of support from family. The LW feels, justifiably, that the sister did not make a good faith effort to change her schedule. And since the sister is in the habit of prioritizing her chill time by passing on babysitting her child to others, the LW resents being called selfish for doing the same. Again justifiably.
LW, I agree you should do it this time round, since you already offered it
(even if you meant only as a last resort, and your sister is taking advantage of it)
But you are not selfish if you don’t want to do it. unless it is an emergency, parents should make an effort to manage childcare without roping in people who are not interested. Next time say no and stick to it without going into the whys of it.June 8, 2018 at 7:50 am #756317ktfranParticipant
Again, how do we know there wasn’t a good faith effort to find accommodations? We don’t! And because she occasionally goes out with her husband and friends she’s a bad person who only prioritizes her downtime? I really don’t understand why the sister is being painted as a villain when all we’re hearing is one side from a person who obviously has a problem with her sister and life choices and is venting.
Really, it’s the mom (the LW and sister’s mom) who’s being kind of an ass by guilt tripping the LW. She’s the enabler! If anyone is to “blame,” it’s her.
And I’ll let you in on a little secret, I have no doubt my family will sometimes complain or vent about me behind my back. I know I’ve participated in some complaining. We still love each other. But we’re human and there are traits we each have that get under each others skin. This LW and her mom were likely doing the same.