Feelings For Manager

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  • Macca
    December 19, 2022 at 2:48 am #1117245

    Okay, so here it goes. I have developed feelings for my Manager. I’m also in a long term relationship and we have a child together. We are going stable and my partner is a really good guy. I can’t seem to shake my crush for my Manager and I just feel absolutely ridiculous/guilty for feeling this way when I have a great man at home. Whenever my Manager walks into the room my face flushes and my heartbeat races like crazy. I’ve now gotten to the point where I can hardly look him in the eyes which I feel like he has noticed it but hasn’t said anything. I have thoughts about being intimate with him (No relationship intentions) but I would absolutely not initiate this nor tell him about my crush for him. We have occasionally flirted but nothing beyond that. My partner and I have a healthy sex life but I still think these intimate thoughts about my Manager. How do I stop feeling this way?! Without having to leave a job that I love. Please help!

    December 19, 2022 at 3:01 am #1117246

    Didn’t you already ask this? The answers to your previous post were good. It’s a crush, don’t blow up your life for something that’s not real. As the others said, work on the relationship you do have.

    December 19, 2022 at 3:08 am #1117247

    Thanks Tui but this is my first post. I’ll look up the other posts.

    December 19, 2022 at 5:43 am #1117248

    This is not your first post, and you changed details in this one. Don’t do that.

    Avatar photo
    December 19, 2022 at 8:03 am #1117249

    Come on, Kate and I can see your IP address. We know you’re writing from the same country – not the US – as the person who posted just a few days ago about having a crush on her boss despite being on a longterm relationship with a child.

    What is it that you’re looking for that you didn’t get in your other forum thread? Do you want us to say that this crush is a sign that your boss is your soul mate and you should definitely leave your partner for him? In both posts, you ask how you can stop feeling this way. You can’t really “stop” feelings; you manage feelings so they don’t disrupt your life. And if you can’t manage feelings, you change your circumstances to either honor your feelings or honor your commitments. You don’t blow up your life for a fuck with your boss who has given no indication he’d even want that anyway.

    December 19, 2022 at 8:49 am #1117250

    Your avatar image is exactly the same too.

    In this one you don’t mention any of the issues in your relationship that you mentioned in the last one. I guess you didn’t like the responses that you might be trying to fill a void with these escapist fantasies about your boss?

    But yeah, what do you want to hear?

    December 19, 2022 at 9:55 am #1117253

    I would never, ever recommend blowing up your life for a fantasy you’ve created in your head. Work your horny feelings out alone or with your husband. You should start looking for a new job if this is affecting you so much.

    December 19, 2022 at 10:24 am #1117259

    Even if it’s not a fantasy – you have a small child. You committed to this other person, unless there is abuse, you should be putting your energy into how to improve your existing relationship, not it up.

    Also, in most companies, managers can’t date their subordinates, so you’d also be blowing up this person’s career.

    Too. Much. Drama.

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