- June 12, 2019 at 10:42 am #845197
My husband inherited a truck from his late uncle in December of 2017. We already had two cars and have been paying car insurance for all three cars while the truck sat at my in-laws house unused. Last month, one of my in-laws cars broke down and was sent to the dump. We decided to let my in-laws drive one of our cars (for free) and my husband is now using the inherited truck while my in-laws have our car full-time. My husband and I are still paying the car insurance for the car that my in-laws are using full-time now. I am pregnant and will be going on Mat leave in September for a year (I live in Canada) so our income is going to be significantly decreasing. I want my husband to change over the ownership and insurance for the car that his parents are using so we can save money on the insurance as its becoming a huge financial burden. whenever I approach my husband about this he brushes me off saying “we will figure it out”. We don’t have money to throw around and we live pay check to pay check right now. Once the baby comes we will be cutting back on expenses even more and a lower insurance payment will help us out. I’m already annoyed that my husband’s parents didn’t insist to take over the insurance on the car to begin with they said they would help us out but I haven’t seen any money yet…they don’t have much money either but their now saving money by not paying insurance for the car they used to own. My husband takes care of and pays for the oil changes and maintenance on all of these cars (including the car that they own…so we are talking about 4 cars now) and also helps my in-laws financially in other ways. My parents are mortgage free and have some cash but they are retired and I feel bad to ask them for money. My parents already gave us $15,000 when we bought our house and have helped so much with buying us baby stuff. Meanwhile, we pay for stuff for my in-laws. I didn’t even tell my parents we pay for the car insurance because I feel so guilty since my parents help us so much financially and in other areas of life.
I feel this whole thing is putting a strain on my marriage and I really don’t know what to do. I’m thinking of approaching my mother-in-law myself and pleading with her emotions since she can be pretty emotional.June 12, 2019 at 1:36 pm #845208
Your husband is an idiot if he cant see what’s going on financially and the added stress is not good for you at all while being pregnant and during labour. I would call the in-laws and tell them about the financial difficulties your house hold is facing and ask them to take on their part of the burden. I don’t see why they cant as they have been paying for insurance for their previously retired automobile.June 12, 2019 at 2:15 pm #845211
Going around your husband directly to your MIL is not going to help the strain on your marriage.
I understand you are stressed out, but you just have to figure out a way to communicate that to him. If he tries to brush you off, don’t let him. Sit down and tell him how worried you are. Ask him to explain.June 12, 2019 at 2:15 pm #845212
Maybe they weren’t paying for their insurance and that’s why it had to be junked instead of fixed or traded.June 12, 2019 at 2:42 pm #845215
Agreed, DO NOT go talk to your in-laws about the matter. Your husband should handle that communication. Sit HIM down and have a real conversation about the financials. Don’t let him brush you off. You’re a partner in this marriage and he can’t unilaterally make decisions that effect your family, that’s not how that should work.
If he refuses to have a real conversation and make real changes, then you’ve got a much bigger problem. I’d suggest kicking him out (since your parents helped pay for your home) or living with your parents until he gets his priorities straight, but i really hope it doesn’t come to that.
Also, regardless, couples counseling might be an option to help with better communication.
June 12, 2019 at 4:09 pm #845219
- This reply was modified 1 week, 4 days ago by CurlyQue.
First, quit asking your parents for money. Refuse to request any more. Tell your husband that as long as you can’t pay your own bills you can’t pay his parent’s bills. Ask your husband what he is willing to cut from the budget so that you can continue to pay his parent’s insurance. Make him find the money in the budget. He’ll come back to you needing to ask your parents for money and you refuse. Ask him again what you can cut from the budget if he wants to keep paying his parent’s bills. Ask if he is going to get a second job if he can’t find anything to cut. Keep bringing it back to you don’t have enough money to do everything he wants to do and so there must be cuts. What is he willing to cut.
Don’t go to your MIL. If your husband doesn’t agree on them paying their own bills he will just continue to give them money. Do you know for sure that they haven’t given your husband some money? Does your husband agree to the idea of you taking a year off work? Is he going to insist you go back a lot sooner?June 12, 2019 at 7:56 pm #845226
Your husband should keep in mind that an insurance company that finds out that the car is being driven full time by people who are not listed on the insurance is going to try to worm their way out of paying a claim if an accident happens.
If one of your in-laws is driving, then they will ask a lot of questions regarding ownership and use of the car and you’re going to be forced into either lying or potentially not getting the coverage that you need.