Why would you want to invite a person to a wedding, let alone date someone when they can’t commit to a virtual date, or make you feel like you need to limit your contact with them?

Sorry, this one is a dud. MOA and find someone who is just as interested in you who is willing to put the time and effort (which at this point for a virtual date is pretty minimal), and doesn’t make you paranoid with messaging.

Oh! Well someone told me to ask her closer to the wedding! Here’s to being preposterous

She shut down a video chat, which is a low effort way to at least see if there is attraction. Does she ever text you first? Has she ever broached the subject of dating you? When you text her does she text back and keep the conversation going?

You don’t want to be told to give up. I’m not sure why you wrote in if you don’t want honest advice, but, ok. Go ahead and ask her now. The chances she’ll say yes are very, very small. And when she says no (or maybe or I don’t know which are all soft ways to say no) I hope you’ll move on and start investing your time into other people and opportunities. If this is a pattern – investing in people who aren’t investing back in you, continuing to want a relationship after the other person has given signals they don’t, not wanting to hear/face uncomfortable truths- it would be worth talking to a counselor about these issues. Therapy can help immensely and you’ll come out a much happier person. And self confident, happy people attract other great people to them.

Alright! Things have sort of fizzled out with her. During these times how do I figure things out? Do I need a dating coach again? Maybe a lif coach

Also, counseling. You’re struggling to make connections, you’re consistently investing tons of time and effort into people who aren’t investing the same level back, and you don’t take social cues or solid advice, even when you ask for it. Maybe you’re self sabatoging, maybe you feel unworthy, maybe there’s underlying mental health stuff going on. A counselor can help you dig in and become a happier person who is more confident and in tune with others. This can only help you.

She was showing you months ago that she had no interest in even a virtual date, but you continued to text with her and even contemplated asking her to a wedding, which honestly is way too much for a first date.

You did not pick up on her cues and refused to consider “quitting.”

I don’t think now is the time for you to be looking for love online. Work on yourself, make some friends and figure out how to read the signs of what someone is showing you. A therapist would be a great idea.

Don’t invite someone you barely talk to on long, intense dates like a wedding. It should be a coffee or something low stakes to even see if you like each other.