Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Finding love in these times

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  • #1030506 Reply
    Bittergaymark
    Guest

    If somebody is NOT interesting in Zooming with you —- NEWSFLASH: they aren’t interesting in dating you. Asking that person to date you would be like asking a person who refuses to date you to simply marry you instead.

    The lack of logic here is profound. Quite.

    #1030507 Reply
    ele4phant
    Guest

    You could ask – but she will most certainly say no.

    Someone who won’t even commit to a virtual chat with you is definitely not going to be interested in an in-person date, much less one as high pressure as being a wedding date.

    I think you think persistence will win her over, it will not.

    She has been trying to give you a soft “I’m not interested.” If you keep pursing her, she’ll eventually be forced to be more explicit.

    Just read the writing on the wall, acknowledge she’s not interested, stop contacting her, and get back on tinder and look for new matches.

    I don’t mean this dismissively, but yeah, chatting with someone might not be a bad idea. Therapy is amazing, it’s not just for people with dire mental health issues, we can all benefit from a neutral, trained party listening to our problems and helping us talk them through.

    If you find you struggle in dating and you struggle with soft social cues, yeah, a few sessions to talk it over with someone might be really useful.

    #1030508 Reply
    A-tee
    Guest

    Well she actually responded to a text of mine yesterday. What is something I could text her? And no I am not gonna ask her to that wedding it was just an idea. She probably isn’t gonna be the love of my life, but I still have some interest okay. As absurd, profound, etc. as that may sound.

    #1030509 Reply
    Kate
    Keymaster

    It definitely doesn’t sound absurd or profound. We get that you like her. But I mean, you’ve been talking to her for how long? And you don’t know what to text her? And it’s a newsworthy thing if she responds to one of your texts… It doesn’t sound like you two are compatible.

    Does she live in a part of the country that’s freezing cold or having out-of-the ordinary weather? You could ask about that.

    #1030510 Reply
    ele4phant
    Guest

    Someone responding to your texts (but never initiating, right? And not even responding all that quickly), but otherwise declining to see you, even virtually, does not indicate interest.

    It means she feels a social pressure to respond when someone reaches out to her, even though she’s not particularly interested in maintaining that connection.

    Stop reaching out to her, full stop. Leave the ball in her court to keep things going.

    I think you’ll find if you stop reaching out, you’ll not her from her again.

    She’s not interested in you man, even if you’re interested in her. Move on.

    #1030513 Reply
    ron
    Guest

    BGM — Don’t give the guy ideas. Now he going to non-profoundly and non-absurdly propose to her over the internet so they can attend the wedding as an engaged couple. It will be an historic first in-person date, but not in an absurd or profound way.

    #1030514 Reply
    anonymousse
    Participant

    She won’t even zoom with you. Either she is not who you think she is (catfish) or she has zero interest in you. None.

    Why are you wasting time with this? On February 3 you wrote that things had fizzled out. Just because she finally responded doesn’t mean she has any interest in you.

    #1031507 Reply
    A- Tee
    Guest

    Lets take it another direction now! Not gonna pursue any relationships for awhile. Might text her every so often as a friend. Don’t have much hobbies played my guitar few weeks ago, like lame video games. I really like exploring my towns for walks and stuff. Iv’e tried to journal, but have not been very good at it. Just trying to keep busy during these times, cause I am a healthcare worker believe it or not. Any ideas?, but gotta keep it respectful

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