Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

First time drinking, not sure how to proceed

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  • #1104003 Reply

    I just became of legal drinking age, and while I’ve got most of the questions pinned down, there’s still one problem. I happen to be the oldest of my friend group, and I’ve made plans beforehand to have 2 friends (both minors) with me so I could have someone I trust look out for me while I drink.

    They’re both fine with it, but don’t think their families would approve, even if they aren’t the ones drinking. I plan to handle this as responsibly as possible, and I’m not sure where we should go. My place is out of limits because of the commuting distance, and I’m not sure if I want to go to a bar with them (not sure if they’d be comfortable with that either). What to do?

    Talking to one of the families nd staying over at a friend’s place would be a rational choice, but it would be quite embarrassing and I don’t want to force people into dealing with my decisions. Especially if they’re already disapproving. Should I just go alone?

    #1104004 Reply

    Why not just wait until you can drink at a bar with friends?

    Or if not, your options might be: Go to a restaurant with them, order a cocktail and they drink Coke / sparkling water, or go to a party at someone’s house, or drink outside, with something in your Hydroflask. Idk, these are all the things I used to do when underage.

    #1104005 Reply
    Avatar photoCopa

    This reads like you’re planning to go out and get totally hammered. So while I’d not personally recommend that if this is your first time drinking as your title suggests, that’s exactly what I did when I turned 21… so no judgment if that’s the plan.

    I’m not sure how your friends would get into a bar if they’re not of age yet. Why not go to a restaurant that is known for having good drinks? That way, you can have a drink or two and get a little buzzed without taking things too far. This would give you the option of getting yourself home safely or potentially spending the night at a friend’s house without worrying about being embarrassing.

    #1104007 Reply

    I do commend you for thinking about it responsibly. I was also one of the older ones and my choice was to buy booze for everyone and hide the party evidence before my parents got back from their trip away so…. kudos for that lol.

    I think the restaurant is a good idea, if you can swing it. That way everyone can be involved without it turning into a whole thing.

    #1104012 Reply

    You sound like you’re planning to drink to excess – which you can, but since you don’t seem to know your limits, why not start small with one or two drinks instead of a fifth of gin?

    Start with beer or cider, they have the lowest alcohol by volume ratio. Drink a glass of water in between each drink to stay hydrated and keep your drinking pace slow.

    Eat something before starting to drink, that will help slow absorption into your bloodstream.

    #1104017 Reply

    ” I’ve made plans beforehand to have 2 friends (both minors) with me so I could have someone I trust look out for me while I drink.”

    Could you define what you mean by “drink”?

    If you just want to try out an alcoholic beverage, I don’t see why you’d need someone to look out for you.

    Are you concerned that you wouldn’t stop at just one? You could avoid this by only buying one drink.

    Is your plan to drink to the point where you may be intoxicated? If so, why? Would it be fun for your two friends to hang out with you while you get hammered?

    Drinking does not have to involve getting drunk. It sounds like the word “drink” carries a lot of built in assumptions for you, and I’m not sure what those assumptions are.

    It may help to reframe drinking as simply enjoying an alcoholic beverage. When drinking becomes an activity in and of itself, that’s where you start worrying about things like having someone look out for you.

    #1104024 Reply

    Do you have any older friends or family you’d like to go have some drinks with? Why don’t you buy some beer or boozy seltzer and drink one or two? I also think the going out to a bar/restaurant idea is a good one. Have a drink or two. Don’t look to drink so much that you need to be babysat or monitored. You don’t want to get really sick or get alcohol poisoning or get your stomach pumped.

    The purpose of turning 21 is shown in the media as getting wasted, making bad decisions and getting really sick but that part of it’s not a fun rite of passage. Drink responsibly, with food in your belly and water in between each drink. I’m sure a lot of people could chime in that getting sick because you drank too much and have never drank before SUCKS.

    Don’t begin your drinking years with drinking by yourself, that is not healthy. Alcohol is a depressant. Try to keep drinking a social thing for now.

    #1104026 Reply

    If you read a wikihow, we can teach you how to drink better.

    #1104029 Reply
    Avatar photoCopa

    To @PassingBy’s point, it’s really not much fun to be the sober person watching your friend get smashed alone. It’s also not much fun to be the one getting smashed alone while your sober friends watch.

    If you’re truly new to drinking, I can understand that you might not know how you’ll fare from just one drink. I remember the first time I drank in HS — I split a drink with a friend because I was convinced I’d be totally bombed if I finished one drink alone. So I agree it’s smart that you’d like to start drinking with friends you trust. See how one or two drinks makes you feel and you should be good to go and have a nice time.

    It’s all fun and games until you get the spins.

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