Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Flatmate situation

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  • #962203 Reply
    avatarWoodward
    Guest

    Am I being a bitch for not accepting that my flatmate (M, 25) leaves his dirty dishes and dirty kitchen stations before going on vacations?

    I feel like he thinks it’s ok since he offers me and my boyfriend gifts (from previous vacay) and he is also a very easy going person, helps me out, accepts that my bf comes very often, etc.
    But cleaning your mess is a basic thing right??

    #962204 Reply
    avatarFyodor
    Guest

    Have you spoken to him about this?

    #962205 Reply
    avatarWoodward
    Guest

    I didn’t speak with him about it because I don’t want to create tension. He is a sensitive guy and he would take this as a threat. he usually takes longer than me to do his dishes but this is the 2nd or 3rd time he leaves his stuff before going on vacation, I think he genuinely forgot but it triggers my fussiness

    #962206 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    So how are you being a bitch if you haven’t brought it up?

    #962210 Reply
    avatarOracle
    Guest

    There are no perfect roommates. You are doing things that might drive another roommate crazy. Having you boyfriend over “often” is one of them. You think he forgot. OK, just do the dishes.

    #962211 Reply
    avataranonymousse
    Participant

    Ask him to wash he dishes after he uses them. That’s not a threat. That’s not offensive, it’s basic respect.

    #962214 Reply
    avatarFyodor
    Guest

    You need to have some ability to discuss concerns and complaints with your roommates. It’s a fundamental part of being roommates or really any kind of human relationship.

    #962217 Reply
    bittergaymarkBittergaymark
    Guest

    Yeah. Gently reminding somebody NOT to leave dirty dishes behind when they go on vacation is simply in no way being bitchy.

    Speak up.

    #962218 Reply
    avataranonymousse
    Participant

    “Hey, Joe- could you please wash the dishes after you use them? The last four times you’ve left for the weekend you’ve left me a sink of dishes. I know you probably just forgot.”

    #962239 Reply
    avatarHazel
    Participant

    aye I think it’s fine to say something. Unless they are cutting you major slack in another direction this does seem a bit oafish- point it out now before it becomes more of a thing, and goes all festery (like the dishes)

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