- This topic has 127 replies, 15 voices, and was last updated 5 years, 3 months ago by ele4phant.
“Hey MB, would you consider watching our kids for a few days? Great! Do you mind if I do a quick background check on you and your bf?”
Ask first. Give someone the opportunity to decline.
If the asking is more awkward than this situation, then I’d argue you shouldn’t be asking.
Now she has explosive background information
(that actually, withheld- is potentially putting MB at risk)
And she feels compelled to share with MB and the only reason she isn’t is exactly what I’ve been saying.
I’m just saying, next time, ask first.
I’m not alone in that POV.
I didn’t tell her that she and her husband are crazy or out of her mind by doing this. I said it feels a little invasive and crossed a line.Northern StarAugust 27, 2018 at 1:14 pm #789257
I find it very hard to believe anyone in the coach’s position would welcome an unwarranted background check— on her BOYFRIEND— by a parent who claimed to do it in order to request babysitting services from the coach.
It’s all great to say, “As a mom, I would do xxxxx to protect my kids.” But as the person on the other side: There is no way ANYONE would be OK with it.
So this has gotten way out in the weeds from my initial post, and I am pretty surprised/disappointed with the name calling, etc in a few of the comments. I know the DW community is better than that.
And yes, if I had known how many tangential issues were going to crop up from my initial question, it would have been helpful to provide additional information in that post, but at the time, they seemed totally irrelevant.
And for the final time (seriously, I promise not to say it again), this was not a background check. This was literally a name based search through our county website. Signed consent, fingerprints and an ID are needed for a background check, and they can only be done by licensed individuals with access to state and/or federal databases.
I don’t consider that name calling. Not by a long shot. And definitely not even close to calling someone a bitch. I did not “continue to call you out” because, again, I was not specifically speaking to you in the vast majority of what I wrote in this thread because, as you’ve pointed out, several people share your opinion. So, again, I have no clue why you think I was singling you out. Glad you had time to count comments and keep score, though. That’s not weird or anything.
Oh, you mean your “I’m not the one making a dozen or so snarky and sanctimonious comments…” comment was JUST a guess?
I counted to see if I’d really made a dozen or so. That seemed like a lot of snark coming from me.
You certainly have an amazing eye for estimating comments!
You made two about me piling on. That’s kind of piling on about me piling on. We’re so similar.?
*Look up the definitions for snarky and bitchy and explain the difference.
@anon, I think I have read through all of the comments, and I didn’t see anyone who expressed frustration with you for having a different opinion than them. I know you took one of my posts that way as well, and my concern was strictly that you continued making the same comments (after I had already acknowledged that I understood that you disagreed with my initial decision) in increasingly demeaning and sarcastic ways. By the end, it felt to me that you were actually being kind of aggressive, which definitely took me by surprise.