Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Found the one? – off my chest

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Viewing 12 posts - 13 through 24 (of 66 total)
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  • #871992 Reply
    avatarPDX816
    Guest

    oh FFS, this isn’t the one you silly little girl. This man is gross and you have the no standards. Real men know your name, men that care contact you, no one of worth calls you names. You sound young and immature.

    #872001 Reply
    avatarEssie
    Participant

    You can’t fantasize this creep into being a good boyfriend. He’s not even a good man. Please, have some standards. Just because you feel an attraction to someone doesn’t mean they’re worth having in your life.

    #872004 Reply

    You are *not* intuitive. Nope. He didn’t even know your name! He didn’t try to talk to you when he saw you out the second time. When you messaged him, he replied “alright.” No, it doesn’t seem like you’ve gotten over the silly idealized ideas of what romance or love really is.

    #872061 Reply
    avatarLena
    Guest

    But what if he is the immature one? Without his friends’ presence he didn’t seem like a brave, decisive guy…It was one of his friends who grabbed him the first night we met to come and meet us.

    #872082 Reply
    avatarFyodor
    Guest

    I feel like I am getting stupider engaging with this discussion.

    #872086 Reply
    avatarLena
    Guest

    I am sorry you feel that way. But feelings are just feelings, you can’t help them. All these comments you gave me helped to see a clearer picture. Feelings set aside, I have to let it go…The more worrying side of this is that I can fall for anyone I’m genuinely attracted to so easily, idealizing them…I just want to love someone, I tend to see the best of every men…

    #872087 Reply
    avatarLisforLeslie
    Guest

    You had a drunken kiss, he couldn’t remember your name, he asked you to sleep with him…and now he can’t be bothered to return your earrings.

    No – this was a slightly drunken hookup and you have definitely let your disney princess take over here. He is not prince charming roaming the countryside with a pair of earrings in his hands, knocking on every door to find his mystery woman. You are not in love. You want this to be meaningful. You want the meet-cute. You want the love at first sight.

    He’s not feeling it. You’re forcing it. You texted him. He barely responded. You are absolutely fooling yourself. Go watch the Naked Guy episode from How I Met your Mother.

    If he wants to see you, to return your earrings or to actually date you, he has your number.

    #872089 Reply
    avatarLena
    Guest

    My text was just about my earrings. Nothing more, nothing personal, not even a ‘how are you’. So I don’t feel it as forcing…I juszt want them back. He meant the sleeping with him – part in a lieral way though, after I said no to sex.

    #872091 Reply
    avatarFYI
    Guest

    “I tend to see the best of every men…”

    I’ve found that when people say this, what they really mean is “I don’t know how to take care of myself emotionally. I don’t pay attention to red flags.”

    #872096 Reply
    avatarFyodor
    Guest

    This wasn’t some meet superficially friendly meet cute that you are maybe over idealizing.
    This was someone who wasn’t interested, hooked up with with you, tried to pressure you into sex, mixed you up with your friend, doesn’t know your name, and is annoyed that he has to have further contact with you. And your response is to think that you should have a family with him and he probably feels the same. You need to have some ability to evaluate the world as it really is.

    #872098 Reply
    avatarHelen
    Guest

    Feelings lie to you. Feelings aren’t fact or based in reality. Reality is this is not a good guy who has any interest in you. You don’t sound grounded in reality, and I’m saying that kindly. Do you have anyone in your life you can trust to run things by? Someone who has their shit together who you can talk to when you have these kinds of feelings? A therapist can also help

    #872102 Reply

    He’s not the immature one here. I can tell because you’ve built a huge fantasy around this guy who doesn’t know your name. He wouldn’t even look at you the last time you saw him. That’s not what men do when they like someone. They don’t play games and avoid speaking to you or your friend. They don’t fail to plan the next date.

    You literally imagined a family with him. That is immature and not based on the facts of the situation, but only your feelings. You know next to nothing about this man. This is not love, and having a crush on someone doesn’t mean you end up with them. It’s actually shocking that you’re 24, and not 14. It’s real for you because you tell yourself it is.

Viewing 12 posts - 13 through 24 (of 66 total)
Reply To: Found the one? – off my chest
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