Thanks all. I’ve renewed my commitment to seeing a therapist on a regular basis (particularly alongside my own decision to give up drinking last year) and she has suggested a referral to a secular, neutral-third-party therapist who might do a few sessions with my whole family. I don’t see it as solving everything, certainly, but as a safe way for each of us to voice our experiences, our feelings, and our boundaries moving forward. This is one of those situations you don’t see coming down the road and even when it appears, you don’t realize how lasting an effect it’s going to have until you’re years past it and still dealing with the fallout. It’s frustrating, exhausting, and there’s no way around it.