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Friendship at breaking point

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This topic contains 83 replies, has 10 voices, and was last updated by avatar Leon 1 week, 3 days ago.

Viewing 12 posts - 61 through 72 (of 84 total)
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  • #850079 Reply
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    JuanMilo

    Anonymousse – you have a weird perspective on shit. I didn’t expect him to do it, I asked him if he was up for it and he gave me a bullshit excuse about playing a game. He could have suggested literally anything else in the world, but he completely shut that possibility down. It’s the bullshit excuse to blow me off that got to me.

    Expecting the same old response here – I’ll happily drop this now, highly tedious

    #850080 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    Okay, yeah, this is getting old.

    #850081 Reply

    LOL

    #850084 Reply
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    JuanMilo

    Yes, tehehe indeed

    #850085 Reply
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    Andrea Letsen

    JuanMilo, nobody has said you don’t have a write to question these events and feel that this friendship is one sided.

    Nobody has made any comment that could not be understandably drawn as a conclusion from what you chose to write in your post.

    People are entitled to their opinions, whether you agree with them or not.

    People are entitled to post their opinions, views, advice on this forum as that is exactly what it is designed for.

    Telling people they have a ‘weird perspective on shit’ is a contradictory to your actions of accessing an advice forum – for advice.

    You have been given advice, not only on what you should do, but what people think MAY be issues your friend is dealing with (to help enlighten you on the possibilities), or how you MAY have contributed to the situation (to help you avoid potentially making similar mistakes in future).

    I cannot say anything other than what I already have in an earlier response to your post and I still stand by it.

    My only new advice is that you perhaps take a look at your own level of hostility and fuse length when asking for advice on an advice website. You shouldn’t be getting riled by receiving advice because for lack of a better phrase – you asked for it.

    I wish you all the best x

    #850088 Reply

    When you get a bs excuse from a friend (which is not what I was talking about) it’s probably because you’re exhausting and he doesn’t have the emotional energy to be your sole friend and support person though out your birthday weekend. It is tedious. You’re tedious. Look at this thread. He said NO, dude. There’s nothing you can do but accept that and move on. I’m not sure why you keep on this. If you have your other friends, go out with them and stop harping on this.

    You feel you’ve been wronged because he doesn’t want you to stay over at his place. You said it’s normal to do that at your age, but I would argue it’s not normal when you live across town. Your circumstances aren’t that special, dude. There could be hundreds of reasons he said no. And it literally could be that he wants to be alone and play a video game by himself all weekend. That actually sounds more and more understandable as you keep on about this.

    You are the one who continues to bring up that you supported him through a breakup as if that entitles you to support now. You keep score in an 18 year old friendship and find him lacking but keep pressing on. I am merely making suggestions based on what you’ve written and how long and how much you argue back, make excuses and try to explain how nothing you’ve done is too much.

    #850089 Reply
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    JuanMilo

    I completely understand where you’re coming from, but maybe or two of the people here took a bit of a mocking tone because I didn’t see eye to eye with them, I’ve only said that someone may have a weird perspective when they’ve basically insulted me, saying I’m socially awkward whilst framing things in a biased manner/not attempting to see things from my point of view. I don’t think that’s out of order to be honest.

    #850090 Reply
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    JuanMilo

    Mate, you opted to insult me not far from the beginning of our exchange, so I don’t know what you’re doing on advice forum. To say things like ‘YOU are tedious’, how ridiculous can an individual be who thinks he can give advice to other people. You don’t know me, you do not know my friend, you don’t know the history of our friendship, you know the briefest of snapshots and you think it allows you to talk to me like a prick because you’ve formulated your opinion based on a forum post. You can criticise me all you want and take it to a personal level because I disagreed with your opinion, but I don’t know what qualifies you to behave the way you have in this thread – because I’ve disagreed with you? Because you’ve escalated the tone of the conversation by basically mocking me? How sanctimonious you can get. You know fuck all about this situation in the grand scheme of things and yet you have so much conviction in your own opinion. If it’s so clear that I’m wrong and you’re right, why are there several people that agree with me on this thread? If you think I’m dismissive, you’re just as guilty. I’m sorry I see the situation in a different light to you – but in the grand scheme of things I’m in the situation and you aren’t – so why can’t you even bear to respect my opinion?

    I don’t even understand how you can even have such conviction in a situation that you know a minor amount about, it’s actually bizarre to be quite honest.

    #850091 Reply

    I understand your standpoint – but please remember, it is EXTREMELY difficult to portray tone through text. Trust me, a lot of people in this digital age get that sort of thing very wrong a lot of the time and you are potentially making that mistake with people who are only trying to help you.

    You have to remember that people only have what you have written to go off in terms of generating their advice on opinions – as well as any subsequent comments you have added in response to others.

    I have nothing against you because I do not know you. I also empathise with you as I once dated someone (very long time ago) whose life was a mirror of what you described in your friend (no social life off the PC) and was a major factor in why I ended that relationship, so I can understand your frustrations at struggling to see how someone can prioritise games over people they care about.

    However each response you have made where you have argued against anothers opinion generates a stronger basis for an opinion to be formed on you, as they are getting far more evidence for your character than they are for the person you were originally seeking advice on.

    My opinion from reading your responses is you seem to have a strong desire to have the last say; you have a strong desire for people to see things from only your point of view (which inhibits valid advice giving) and you are quite hostile when you are perceived negatively, despite portraying yourself in a slightly negative light.

    I do not know you, I may well be completely wrong on all of that. It is merely what I can draw from what I have written, and probably what a lot of people would conclude too.

    I just want you to realise these people have done nothing but try to help you, which I’m sure deep down you know and you’re just misdirecting your frustration and defences right now because you are emotional over the context of the original letter.

    This was all said in a friendly understanding tone. I am not being sarcastic, demeaning and at no point have had the intention of insulting you (just so we’re both clear on that).

    If someone says something you don’t like, the glory about the internet is you can simply not respond to that person. My friendly advice is you utilise that right, rather than risk making yourself look worse.

    Kind regards x

    #850092 Reply
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    JuanMilo

    You know what, thinking about it all. I’m surprised by the low level thinking on this forum from some of the people in this thread. Your ego is so offended that I don’t see this situation in the same way that you that you’ll actually insult me? Are we commenting on YouTube here or are we supposed to be having a discussion? You’re not even in the situation, you quite certainly don’t understand the nuance of the relationship and yet you have complete conviction in your opinion, enough to insult me? Sorry, but you’re framing me as being immature? Seriously, you’re not on the pedestal you’re putting yourself on, not even close.

    #850093 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    JuanMilo, give it a rest for the night. You don’t have to keep responding.

    #850094 Reply
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    JuanMilo

    Anonymousse – it’s funny how I explain things to you about where I’m coming from and yet you run with your own thing in order to tell me why I’m upset and insult me. Mate – you do not know me. Understand that sentence in its entirety. If you’re to give advice then don’t impose your own meaning on what I’m saying. I’m sorry that I’ve offended you that I don’t agree with your point of view on the situation that I’m actually in and you aren’t – that doesn’t give you license to insult me, or to impose meaning on what I’ve said. In short, I don’t think you’re cut out for this if you’re going to basically gaslight people and mock them. What’s funny is that this is all about my shortcomings, but suddenly you seemed to have exposed a few of your own. I’m allowed to disagree with you – that doesn’t give you license to insult me!

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