- This topic has 5 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 3 days, 8 hours ago by Laura.
January 1, 2022 at 6:48 am #1101421JeffGuest
I’ve been in a committed relationship for a year and a half. Things have been great. 2 month ago girlfriend and I was drinking with friends. Looked over and it appeared she was flirting with one of my friends and they exchanges phone numbers with an excuse of getting ahold of me easier since I’m not quick to respond. Monday we had a Christmas party and was drinking heavily. She was in my bar with my cousin for 20 mins talking while I was in another room talking. She grabbed my cousin and was pulling him close. He left and came and told me right away. Next day she denied it for an entire day. Then text me at 530 am saying she remembers she thought it was me and was confused when he said he had a wife. My gut says she’s lying. I broke things off. Need some advice please
JeffJanuary 1, 2022 at 10:02 am #1101424KateKeymaster
I don’t know, only you know if you trust her or not. But if everything has been great, I don’t know that it makes sense to break up because of something like talking to your cousin when you were all wasted at a party. I’ve absolutely done and said things while drunk that I would never do sober and it doesn’t mean anything. But it sounds like maybe you had trust issues to begin with or this wouldn’t have bothered you so much.January 1, 2022 at 11:49 am #1101426ronGuest
You broke things off. THE END. You didn’t and don’t trust her. You all seem to be causing problems for yourselves by drinking too much.January 3, 2022 at 3:04 pm #1101471PDX816Guest
What advise do you need? You didnt trust her and broke up with her. Personally, her explanations sound reasonable, but you decided they weren’t. It’s time for you to move on.January 3, 2022 at 3:08 pm #1101473BittergaymarkGuest
She drinks too much. That’s be the dealbreaker for me. Unless… LW, you somehow are rather like Patty Duke. 😉January 14, 2022 at 7:48 am #1101828LauraGuest
From the outside looking in I feel you are obviously few insecure in the relationship. The exchange of phone numbers between your friend and partner maybe nothing to get concerned about however unless your cousin is your doppelgänger I would be concerned about this. The fact your cousin came and told you means that he obviously felt uncomfortable about the situation and he himself did not see it as innocent behaviour.
I think alcohol obviously plays a part in your partner’s flirtatious behaviour and although there’s not usually anything wrong in innocent flirting, trying to get physically close or pulling someone physically closer is unacceptable in my opinion.
Your partner is using the fact she was under the influence of alcohol as an excuse for her behaviour and although may influence this it doesn’t mean it’s acceptable.
I feel if you both want to make it work maybe stop drinking alcohol and see if things improve or if neither of you want to stop (because it’s a lot to sacrifice socially) then you two should call it a day as there’s no trust and you will always be wondering what she’s getting up to and for her it will be stressful feeling like she’s being accused all the time whether it’s innocent or not.
I hope you can find peace Jeff and best of luck. Some things just are not meant to be and somethings just require a few sacrifices to make it work. It just depends on what you both want from this. Take care