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Gift Giving Guilt

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This topic contains 4 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by avatar Sarah 3 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #728303 Reply

    So, a bit of a long story.
    There were these charity NHL tickets available for sale at an auction that my friend and I were going to split, but I messed up the time and the auction closed, so we missed out on these tickets.

    For a Christmas gift, to make up for it, I went to buy my friend some tickets to a hockey game online. They started out really cheap ($29 each), and with service charges it came up to $80 total for two tickets. So, I was okay.

    But then I realized that this was priced in USD, and I live in Canada. So, the total AFTER I paid for them was over $100, and now I feel that this is WAY too expensive of a gift. I feel SO guilty.

    Do I tell my friend about how I spent too much on them? Or, do I suck it up and keep my mouth shut? I tell this friend literally everything so I feel bad holding this back from him.


    #728322 Reply

    Everyone does something like this from time to time, it’s a normal mistake and your feelings about it are normal.

    Just acknowledge it was a simple mistake, you’ll be more careful next time, and if he asks how much the tickets were, just shrug and say, not too much.

    ETA: you don’t tell a friend what you spent on their gift usually, but if you feel like you have to, just tell him the truth, you thought they were $29 each but they ended up being $50, oh well, let’s have a good time.

    #728329 Reply

    I’m confused. Are you worried your friend will accidentally find out and react negatively? Unless you have a specific reason that you want them to know, then I don’t think you really need to tell them. If they ask or make a comment about the cost, then just tell them the mistake you made. But I think if you volunteer the information, then it will be perceived that you are asking them to compensate you. I’d feel super awkward if a friend was like, “I meant to spend less money on these tickets and accidentally spent a ton.” because I wouldn’t know what they wanted from me — more gratitude? money? reciprocation?

    Anyway, I think spending a lot on something like tickets or other experiences is different than giving someone a really expensive object. Oftentimes, it’s for the benefit of the gift giver, as well, since they have given themselves a friend to accompany them to an event that would be less fun with one person.

    #728330 Reply

    Yeah tickets to professional sporting events can be pricey, that’s probably why he wanted to go to the auction. There’s no guarantee that you would have gotten them cheaper at the auction. It may have cost you more than $100 or you may not have won them.

    You should just ask him to go to the game, and enjoy it. I wouldn’t even tell him unless he asks, then do what Kate said.

    If he wants to kick in, tell him that he can purchase the snacks & beer at the game or dinner afterwards to call it even.

    #728367 Reply

    I vote for not lying about the price. I have experienced that feeling before– that regret of spending too much, mainly because I’m money-conscious. It is okay to occasionally splurge!! And only if he asks about the price– say you splurged a bit.

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