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Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Girl I like blocked but views me

Home Forums Advice & Chat Girl I like blocked but views me

  • This topic has 12 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 1 week, 5 days ago by Anonymousse.
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  • #1110565 Reply
    Ady
    Guest

    About 5/6 weeks ago a girl I really fell for blocked me on Facebook messenger and WhatsApp. Now, few weeks before she told me at the moment she just saw me as a friend at the moment and time will tell x. We both spent nights together been up all night talking she said she really liked me. During this I lost my job and was behind bills which made me anxious and depressed, wrong thing to do was to keep calling her and well she blocked me. Few days later I had a few drinks with a friend and stupidly I unfriended her, still regret it now, she does have bipolar so just need so know or see if she’s ok. We both still follow each other on instagram and my stories are of me getting fitter and healthy as I’m going through a fitness phase. She’s viewing them and top of the list. Really want to add her on Facebook again as I was stupid for unfriending but I haven’t called or texted her for about 3 or 4 weeks.

    #1110567 Reply
    Kate
    Keymaster

    Couldn’t you DM her on IG and ask if she’s okay? And that you miss talking to her, are sorry for the momentary lapse in judgment when you kept calling her, you realize that crossed a line, but are in a better place now and hope she’s doing well too.

    But I mean, big picture, this girl isn’t interested in you. She was up-front with you that she saw you as a friend. When you pushed it too much, she blocked you.

    #1110568 Reply
    Kate
    Keymaster

    And please keep in mind that she blocked you because you didn’t respect boundaries and/or weren’t supportive to her mental health journey. She may need to keep you blocked, but I think it’s okay to reach out *once* and test the waters, only because she hasn’t blocked you everywhere.

    #1110574 Reply
    LisforLeslie
    Guest

    Dude – boundaries. Learn to identify them and respect them.

    #1110591 Reply
    Ady
    Guest

    Regarding her mental health I was supportive I was up with her until 7 in the morning when she was struggling to sleep and offered to get a taxi so I can be there so she know someone is there if she needed help. That was before she told me about just as a friend at the moment. She knew I was having bad anxiety and got depressed because of losing my job and behind on bills hence why I probably called her often because I thought that would make her walk being out of a job.Boundaries? Now, I haven’t been in this situation before as I was a bit of a novice when it came to dating etc I know that’s no excuse I get that but she knew that aswell. Haven’t called or text in 3 or 4 weeks yes I regret unfriending her on Facebook but she keeps looking at my insta stories. I’m focused on getting fit, minds clear I’m good and lost 4lbs in 2 weeks. I will maybe test the water end of the month .

    #1110592 Reply
    Copa
    Participant

    Why would she not be okay? “Needing to know that she’s okay” reads like an excuse to reach out to someone who has made clear by blocking you that they don’t want or need to be in contact with you all that often. Any “making sure she’s okay” seems like it’s for your benefit, not hers.

    Odds are, she has not noticed you deleted her from FB. And if she has, I doubt she cares since she’s blocked you from contacting her on multiple platforms. She may even be relieved.

    If you’re following one another on Instagram, her viewing your stories means nothing. You know once you start watching stories, it’ll just continue playing the next user’s stories, right? The odds that she’s going to your profile and watching your weight loss/fitness stories that way are *incredibly* low. I tap through boring-to-me stories from friends and acquaintances on Instagram ALL the time.

    If you find yourself being this consumed by social media, it may be good to take a bit of a hiatus. Social media isn’t real life.

    Lastly, you don’t seem to want to accept that this woman just wants to be your friend, otherwise you wouldn’t be qualifying it every time with “at the moment.”

    I’d not reach out to this woman since nothing she’s doing is indicating that she misses your presence in her life. There’s a lot of context missing, but you sound clingy and a bit obsessed with her.

    • This reply was modified 2 weeks ago by Copa.
    #1110594 Reply
    Anonymousse
    Guest

    Yes to what @copa said.

    #1110598 Reply
    Kate
    Keymaster

    When I said you weren’t supportive to her mental health journey, I meant you weren’t respecting normal boundaries and were being a pain in her butt. You called so much she had to block you.

    Also, yeah, this doesn’t come off well:

    “I was supportive I was up with her until 7 in the morning when she was struggling to sleep and offered to get a taxi so I can be there so she know someone is there if she needed help. That was before she told me about just as a friend at the moment.”

    That sounds like you were hoping to hook up, honestly. You offered to get a taxi and come over in the middle of the night, before you knew she friendzoned you. Women can see through that. And now you need to know if she’s ok, and you do have a way to contact her, but you’re just going to wait?

    Copa is right about stories too. Do you only watch the stories of people you’re romantically interested in? Or do you blow through a lot of people’s stories quickly and slow down if you see something a little more interesting?

    #1110616 Reply
    Miss MJ
    Guest

    She’s blocked you. That’s about as clear a signal as it gets. Move on and leave her alone. If she wants further communication with or from you, she knows where to find you. (But she doesn’t. That’s why she blocked you!)

    #1110619 Reply
    LisforLeslie
    Guest

    And if she’s like “wah, I blocked him and he didn’t read my mind and think I wanted more…” then she’s a game player and no one needs that crap.

    #1110622 Reply
    Fyodor
    Guest

    Half the world is women.* Find a different one who likes you back.

    *amazing but true!

    #1110635 Reply
    bloodymediocrity
    Participant

    Yeah. Don’t make any contact unless it is an apology (and ONLY an apology) for overstepping boundaries, and if you do that, expect to not receive a response. Do this, and understand going forward that she’s not into you and it ain’t happening.

    I agree with Kate – your offer to “come over in the middle of the night” because “she can’t sleep” was probably read with sexual intentions that she wasn’t interested in reciprocating.

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