Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Girlfriend won’t let me go on holiday.

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  • #896213 Reply
    avatarJosh Meja

    Try and keep it short. We are both 23 and live with our parents.
    My friend asked me to go on holiday to a European country (wont say as outing) next week for 3 days as flights were cheap and we could go drinking.

    I told girlfriend and she was fine at first and seemed pretty happy.
    However, the next day she seemed off and said how she’s not sure her parents would let me in the house for a week if I come back just to make sure I havent caught anything.
    I have a tendency to work away and i’m currently not sure when i’ll be leaving, could be anytime this month or next.
    We had a little tiff and I said I wouldnt go but that I wanted to go and she didnt understand why I was so desperate to go on holiday when flights have only just started opening.
    She asked her parents and they did basically say if i did go i couldnt come around for a week. And ofcouse she will respect their house rules.

    I’m fine with this but at the same time gutted because i really wanted to go. I’m not sure when i’ll be leaving for work so I wouldnt go 7 days without seeing her incase I go that week,
    Is life.going to be like this forever?

    #896231 Reply

    Good lord, grow up.

    Go ahead and go; it’s entirely your decision. But she and her parents have absolutely every right to bar you from their house for two weeks (not one) while you quarantine yourself so as not to spread a dangerous virus. What are you thinking?

    You’re “gutted” because you have to respect people’s health? Really? People are dying, for chrissakes. I don’t know what “a tendency to work away” means, but you should quarantine for two weeks after you travel, no matter the reason.

    In short, yes, even you have to comply with medical guidelines and inconvenience yourself to help society. Christ.

    #896233 Reply

    Oh, and “girlfriend won’t let me” is the lamest bullsh1t ever. You are a fully-functioning adult. Take responsibility for your decisions and your place in society.

    #896325 Reply

    Why did you title this “girlfriend won’t let me.”? She never said she didn’t give you permission, she told you she probably wouldn’t be able to see you for a week if you went. That’s not her “not letting” you. And that’s a ridiculous way to frame it, even in your mind. She isn’t in control of you and it doesn’t even sound like she’s trying to manage your actions or behavior. “If I go on holiday I can’t see my gf until after I’ve been quarantined.” Or could you get tested upon arrival?

    “I’m fine with this but at the same time gutted,” you’re words boggle the mind. Does this mean that you understand the reason her parents have made these rules, but you’ll feel sad not to see her for a week?

    Life is going to be like this probably until there is a vaccine. It’s okay to feel sorry for yourself for the vacations and experiences that you’re missing, but we’re all going through that.

    #896328 Reply

    Yeah, life is going to be like this for a while. You’re not going to die if you don’t get to go on a 3-day drinking trip, but honestly, people could literally die if you do go.

    You really shouldn’t go if the rules in your country and/or the country where you’re going say you need to quarantine, and you’re not going to do it. If there are no quarantine rules, then I guess go if you want to, but then respect your girlfriend’s parents’ reasonable request and don’t go over there.

    You realize people are having to forego all kinds of special trips and events, right?

    #896342 Reply

    Go if you want to take the risk, but don’t give her any grief when you get back and she doesn’t want you risk her or her loved ones’ lives.And quarantine yourself, don’t go into shops or restaurants or any place low paid workers are risking their lives just to put food on their tables and pay their rent, (though they’d probably much rather stay home safe if only they could,) either.

    #896343 Reply

    – and quarantine yourself from your parents too.

    #896348 Reply

    @Hazel, it sounds like he’s planning to go to the bars… which is why everyone in the US is dying right now, because they can’t stay out of the bars. Like just get a 30-rack and go to a lake or something. I don’t get it.

    #896391 Reply

    Seriously? You’re “gutted” because you might not get to go on a trip to drink?

    You sound really entitled and detached from reality. I get that when you’re young, it’s easy to put yourself in a bubble and only really think about drinking and having fun. But the pandemic is a good time to snap out of it and realize that you’re not adult. As an adult, you don’t always get to just pick up and go on a drinking vacation whenever you feel like it. Life goes on.

    The reason the pandemic is still raging is that folks like you are worrying too much about having fun and too little about what happens if they get sick or get someone else sick. If everyone was just doing what they were supposed to, this probably would have wound down a lot by now.

    I’d like to reiterate — grow up. We’re all having to sacrifice things that we want to do. Granted, for some people, that’s things like seeing dying family members or meeting their new grandchildren, but i suppose not being able to drink in another country is something too.

    #896527 Reply

    JoshMeja I’m not sure where you are, but I assume that it’s a country that has gotten things relatively under control. However, just because your country has contained it doesn’t mean that you can let your guard down completely. It can explode from a relatively small number pretty quickly. Israel had its cases down to single digits and it’s current outbreak is much worse than the first.

    I am pleading with you, please be careful and don’t go out drinking at bars. You don’t want to end up like we are in the United States.

    #896530 Reply

    If you go, you should 14 day quarantine when you return.

    That said, you shouldn’t go because…you know…deadly global pandemic.

    #896675 Reply

    Boo-fucking-hoo, what a whiny little bitch. “Gutted” because you want to go out barhopping and playing virus roulette with your buddies, but still have sex the moment you return just in case you have to travel for work? Give me a FUCKING break. I won’t be able to travel to see my own mother or brother, or any other family, for a fucking year. My kid can’t play with any other kids and hasn’t for MONTHS. We canceled 3 family vacations for this year, including the one I was supposed to be celebrating a milestone birthday, and 2 family weddings, because THERE’S A FUCKING PANDEMIC AND IT’S NOT SAFE YET. I guess the nicest thing I can say is, thanks for the reminder that the US doesn’t have a monopoly on stupidity.

    I encourage you to think about how “gutted” people feel when their loved ones die alone on ventilators.

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