Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Girlfriends Friends

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice Girlfriends Friends

  • This topic has 113 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 1 month ago by avatarDMChilds.
Viewing 12 posts - 13 through 24 (of 114 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #887471
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    Sonny, I’m sure she called the cops on him because his political opinions are a little different. That adds up.

    #887473
    avatarDMChilds
    Guest

    Sheesh!

    Was not expecting these reactions. The last comment I made was in reference to our current situation; I didn’t mean to say that a romantic relationship should drown out friendships at all. She expressed to me that she wants to move closer to me… but is scared of her friends opinion. That’s all I meant. That the direction she wants her life to move in shouldn’t be stifled by fear.

    The political/religious thing is not anything sinister. My GF made fun of her friend bcuz she is a “feminist” but also has always been too scared to get a Drivers license or learn to drive and requires a ride from her fiancé. I pointed out the irony. This is what was shared.
    It was stupid.

    The other friend refused to quit drug use even after her husband expressed concern for his job. She considered leaving him over this. My GF shared this with me… I said she sounded very immature and would encourage her to consider at least compromising with her husband. This is what was shared.

    #887475
    avatarDMChilds
    Guest

    BitterGayMark,

    Thanks for the comment!
    I agree! The idea would have done very well in L.A. I actually lived in Cali for a good while and DO miss the life there!
    Unfortunately, We are now in Arkansas.. in a dry county. I honestly didn’t even know there were dry counties anymore! Lol. But there are in Ar. and both her and I live in one.
    Making a Brewery/Bowling alley less feasible
    Imho

    #887476
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    Mmm, well, taking you at your word that that’s all there is (which I’m still highly skeptical given their extreme reactions, kicking her out, calling police), those are pretty dickish things to say, but also, why has she broken up with you 4 or 5 times? Why has she never introduced you to these people? Why did she tell them what you said? Why IS she choosing them over you? Why are you still sticking around and trying to make this work?

    Still not buying that there isn’t more to the story though.

    #887477
    avatarDMChilds
    Guest

    Hey Kate!

    Appreciate all your responses. Obviously there is much I’m leaving out Lol. Mostly bcuz much of it embarrasses me. I like this Girl a LOT, and understand it’s been very dramatic.

    Her friends aren’t the most mature.. and I believe are now operating on bias. My GF is in counseling and has been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. She flies off the handle often, and has a hard time processing emotions before reacting. Her therapist has encouraged her to get distance from these friends as he sees it as a codependency.
    Final note! Just to clear up.. my GF never called the cops on me. She asked me to meet her after work, and when I arrived at the house before her (and stayed in the car) her friend who DOES NOT live there called the police on me. My GF was unaware till after the fact.

    Thanks again!
    I really do appreciate it. I don’t have friends and perspectives are valued

    #887478
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    Yeah this is sounding worse and worse.

    #887479
    bittergaymarkBittergaymark
    Guest

    Hah. Dry counties are definitely something I have forgotten all about. I don’t think they have any of those where I grew up in ND and MN.

    Actually, Kate… if he leans Republican and her GF are particularly “woke” I can see them being HIGHLY irrational about her dating him. Simply because I have witnessed such over the top silliness first hand in a friend’s daughter…

    #887482
    avatarSonny
    Guest

    Dude, I have family with Borderline Personality Disorder. While I hate to tell anyone to stay away from people with certain disorders (because I certainly have my own set), you will never win against BPD unless they are actively trying to improve. If you’re always on their side, and not trying to make them do stuff they don’t want, they’ll be mostly fine. The second you try to make them do something, or appear to have “abandoned” them, the shit will hit the fan and everything wrong with their lives will become your fault.

    Then they’ll eventually show back up expecting you to act like nothing went wrong.

    Does this sound familiar? Does this sound like the multiple breakups followed by crawling back to your door? This explains the whole story. I believe you that you’re not at fault.

    #887483
    avatarDMChilds
    Guest

    BitterGayMark,
    Ha! No kidding man. I actually got into mixing drinks and took some classes.. became something of a hobby. Now I live where most people view drinking as a sin. It’s quite the cultural whiplash! Some apartments even make you sign a “no alcohol” agreement. NOT KIDDING!

    I appreciate you saying that! Bias can come in strange forms.. and it can be hard to be aware of it. Especially over hot topics like politics. Idk what has been said abt political stances, but I don’t have a real strong one. I don’t care for anyone who doesn’t fully understand their own position (left or right) so I don’t hold an opinion as I don’t fully understand all the policy differences. I would prob identify as more independent. As far as a candidate preference… Km not a huge Hillary fan as they are. I Do like Bernie tho. I’m not as fast to condemn Trump as most.. but have made it known I didn’t vote for him, and believe him to be wildly immature (especially for his office).

    Thanks again!

    #887484
    avataranonymousse
    Participant

    How would they even know it was your parked outside, if you’ve never even met them? “Hi, police…there’s a strange car parked outside a house I don’t live in.” And the police came? This honestly makes zero sense.

    But regardless,

    1) She hasn’t introduced you to her friends in nine months of dating.

    2) Everything they know about you, and hate about you- she has told them.

    3) I think you want to blame the friends, but your relationship is between you and her.

    Anyway you shake it, it’s time for you to walk away. I don’t know if the issue is that you are controlling and abusive and unable to tell us these things, if she’s got some screws lose or her “friends” do. You haven’t even met them.

    Do you see how ridiculous and preposterous this all is? This amount of drama in your late twenties? It’s time to grow up and move on. If someone won’t introduce you to their friends, they don’t want you to integrate into their real life.

    #887485
    avatarPDX816
    Guest

    Your responses are not help. You sound like you have a lot of distain for everyone involved, including your GF. My advice of being single and getting into therapy stands. None of you sound particularly healthy, but you can only work on you.

    #887486
    avatarSonny
    Guest

    Another thing about people with untreated BPD: They will lie and lie, even in the face of actual evidence. She is probably telling her friends all kinds of nasty things about you. That’s why they’re calling the police on you.

Viewing 12 posts - 13 through 24 (of 114 total)
  • The topic ‘Girlfriends Friends’ is closed to new replies.