Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Going to male friends house

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Viewing 8 posts - 25 through 32 (of 32 total)
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  • #963367 Reply
    avatarktfran
    Participant

    I don’t think Tina should date until she does some work on herself. Asshats prey on women like Tina. She needs to feel strong and she needs to like herself without being tied to a man. She’ll find a much better partner and recognize red flags if she does some work.

    And I don’t think Tina is the kind of person who would feel good about a fling. I’m ok with flings. I’ve had plenty. I fully support them as long as the person is in the right head space and can handle them. This is not that.

    • This reply was modified 1 week, 5 days ago by avatarktfran.
    #963369 Reply
    avatarbloodymediocrity
    Participant

    @KTFran – It doesn’t have to be a fling or a hookup. She just needs to do SOMETHING because otherwise it’s ongoing misery. This is the only life she’s known and that’s sad.

    Tina – I married the person I was with at 19 also. When we divorced 10 years later, I had no idea how miserable I actually was until I was out of it. Believe me when I say that life doesn’t have to be like this. It won’t be easy but life is so much better on the other side.

    #963370 Reply
    avatarktfran
    Participant

    Even if it’s not a hookup, can Tina even date and feel good about it? Considering her mental state and hanging on to a shit marriage, what’s wrong with working on herself first?

    Make friends. Learn new hobbies. Work on yourself. LEARN HOW TO BE HAPPY WITHOUT A MAN. She won’t meet a good potential partner until she works on herself. She’s so worried about being alone she’s susceptible to jumping into another bad relationship.

    Dating immediately is not good advice for this situation.

    #963372 Reply
    avatarMaltaKano
    Guest

    Tina, go to therapy. In the meantime, I’ll repeat what my therapist says to me: what you want matters. YOU matter. Act like it.

    #963373 Reply
    avatarbloodymediocrity
    Participant

    @KTFran. You are absolutely 100% right. Those are all things that she should be doing before even attempting to date. But she isn’t and won’t. She is just repeating the same thing over and over. I’m simply suggesting that doing *anything* – even if it is destructive in the short term – is better than doing *this*.

    #963374 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    I don’t know how divorce laws work in her state, but it’s possible she has a better case for getting a settlement if he’s the one being adulterous, not her. I live in a no fault state and my divorce was blessedly easy, but she should talk to a lawyer and know what to expect before she does anything else.

    #963448 Reply
    avatarGuest
    Guest

    I have followed Tina’s multiple real (are any of them actually real?) and fake posts over the past year or so. I see the same names (bless you all, seriously…you all have the patience of a saint) replying with the same very sound, solid, GOOD advice every single time Tina (or whatever her real name is) posts.

    Y’all, Tina is not leaving. She, for whatever reason, is simply looking for someone to tell her this situation is ok. She will seek out this validation through more fake posts…sadly, for the rest of her life. It really chaps my ass that everyone is so friggin helpful and patient, despite her constant deception, and she keeps playing these games with them.

    Am I the only one who is irritated beyond fuck with her or is this pandemic, social isolation, and fucked up political shit making me insanely bitter and bitchy?

    I feel like the world is spiraling fast toward hell right now and yet here comes Tina again – all she can do with her free time is write in bullshit stories dozens upon dozen of times and waste everyone’s time.

    ***So I am going to say it: “Tina”, your situation is ok if you are ok with it. You won’t leave so just learn to be ok with it. Period.

    #963449 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    Maybe take a step back from the Internet?

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