May 25, 2020 at 12:21 am #886587Ellie MarieGuest
Hi all I was hoping to get some advice. I graduate in 4 weeks with my 2-year college degree a year early. I didn’t walk with my senior class last year because I was proud of the college achievement and my dad was getting his PhD and I was told we would have to share a party so I figured spacing it out would work. I’ve been really struggling for months now and my education has been a battle. I changed schools over a dozen times and worked my butt off so to not have a graduation is really hitting me hard. I feel like the work I’ve done for 13 years means nothing. I get that people didn’t enjoy their graduation but to not have an end cap for me is an issue. I’m starting a masters program two weeks after graduation but it’s fully online and won’t have any ceremony either. I was really counting on this one. To be frank, my birthday is January 5th, my brothers is the first and we have 5 family parties leading up to Christmas so since my brother was born we’ve shared birthdays until I was about 8 and we stopped celebrating mine. I was excited to have a party and it’s selfish but it’s something that mattered to me. I’m usually the one coming up with cool ideas for people (I threw a surprise anniversary party for my parents with people they hadn’t seen since the wedding, a scrapbook of 70+ dogs with a personal note for my fiancé for his birthday, surprise parties with flower walls and scavenger hunts etc. but I’ve been in a really bad place mentally and I’m severely depressed and just not in a place (haven’t been in therapy and have had a lot of pretty rough things come up) to come up with something for myself. Does anyone have any ideas? So sorryMay 25, 2020 at 4:41 am #886596HeatherlyGuest
A Zoom Graduation? Members of your class get together and clear your own ceremony & mini celebrations with music & a drink or two. All see if you can either make or buy mortar board & gown! And make it short- say 30 mins as to be honest in real life the ceremony bit goes on too long. The disco bit… up to you & friends.May 25, 2020 at 5:41 am #886601
You have got to get mental health help. You’re in a very precarious position by not getting counseling and simultaneously putting everything on a party that can’t happen right now, building it up in your head to be the thing you need to make you happy and for everything to be worth it. In reality, it’s likely going to be a let-down. Don’t do that to yourself.
No one should be having an in-person party right now. Many many people are struggling with the desire to celebrate something and not being able to. And let’s face it, Zoom parties are not that fun. If you would enjoy a Zoom party and you have people who would attend, then by all means, tell your fiancé that you really need that right now and get him to plan it, bake you a cake, order you a cap and gown. Go for it.
But it’s not going to fix what’s going on with you. For that you’re going to need therapy and potentially meds. A party might or might not be nice, but it’s not going to give you that sense of worth you crave, or turn your parents into loving and supportive people, or make your depression go away. Therapy can help you cope with those feelings though.May 25, 2020 at 4:32 pm #886674Ellie MarieGuest
A lot of assumptions were made and I suppose I didn’t include my whole “history” as I was trying to ask a specific question. I’m on meds and in therapy obviously I know that this won’t fix my life, I was hoping for suggestions of things that could help. A lot of other things are going on that are continually being worked on but I was hoping to find something small to momentarily lift my sprites instead of constantly focusing on the the negative and just deciding that nothing will work.May 25, 2020 at 4:38 pm #886675
I didn’t assume anything beyond what you’ve told us.
“ I’m severely depressed and just not in a place (haven’t been in therapy and have had a lot of pretty rough things come up)”
Look, we’re all struggling right now with not being able to do fun things or plan anything. Unfortunately there just *are* no ideas except Zoom for a party. If you think that would be fun, you should get your fiancé or friends to help you plan it, as it sounds like your family isn’t very supportive. If a Zoom party doesn’t interest you, I think you have to get to a place of being able to be proud of what you’ve accomplished without a party to mark this life event. It sucks, but that’s where we are now.
Is your college not doing any sort of online thing to celebrate grads?May 25, 2020 at 4:56 pm #886679
If you want someone to plan something for you, ASK.
Ask your bf to please plan something because you’re having a rough time. Does he know about how you are struggling?
If you actually are in therapy, do you talk about this with your therapist? We’re all struggling right now. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t totally suck that you aren’t having a long graduation ceremony, but unfortunately it is the reality right now. Is your school doing absolutely nothing for graduation? Could you plan with your bf to do a zoom party or graduation with some classmates?
So you’re the person who made the dog book for their bf. Are you also the poster who has written in about how much their mom sucks and they are sad about not graduating? If you stick with the same username, we can give you better advice.May 25, 2020 at 4:58 pm #886681
You’ve also written in under “anonymity” “E M S” and “EM” about the scrapbook, getting admitted during coronavirus and physical vs. mental health symptoms. Are you sure you’re taking these symptoms seriously and seeing doctors?May 25, 2020 at 5:06 pm #886682
Are you also Elliot Marie and Elliot? Do you also lose your turtle? I’m not calling out all your various usernames to out you, more to show you that we are paying attention. You don’t have to make up a new username every time. You can keep writing in with the same story. It helps us give better advice.
I can tell you’re really struggling right now, but your family is never going to treat you the way you deserve. I can understand being sad not to have a long, hot graduation ceremony, but it wouldn’t have solved your problems or made you happy. Please tell your BF or therapist how badly you’ve been feeling so that they can help you get some real help. And send us an update.May 25, 2020 at 5:29 pm #886684
Yes, that’s all the same poster.May 26, 2020 at 9:00 am #886742
Actually, here’s another idea: A photo shoot. I’ve seen some of this on Instagram. Do this outdoors in a cap and gown, with props. Have one person with you to take the pics.