Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Grand Daughter is stealing money from me.

Home Forums Advice & Chat Grand Daughter is stealing money from me.

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  • #1096519 Reply

    I am sure it is my Granddaughter. The first time she lost a button, the second time I left my purse in my car. Yes, I am forgetful. The third time I was in the hosp. I am now guarding my money. But I want to prove to her father that it is she that is doing it and not my forgetfulness. You see I am 76 and they think that old people automatically lose their senses. She is taking advantage of all of us and I think she needs confronting. That’s my story

    #1096520 Reply

    It is not a case of protecting my money now, It is a matter of confronting the girl. She is not in need, the last $100. was to take with her on her vacation. She is just a thief. 34 years old and takes no responsibility. My daughter and Son in law support her. They take care of her children. She works. Yes, she makes twice as much per year as I get. I am angry. She thinks I do not know my money is missing. I want to catch her and confront her.

    #1096521 Reply

    There is no question that it is her.

    #1096533 Reply

    Then you need to catch her in the act, hun. You’re old enough to know not to confront a thief and a liar without proof. Set a trap or get one of those nanny cams.

    Also, what’s your endgame for after you confront her? Criminal charges? She promises to stop? You’re still going to need to lock your stuff up. Unfortunately by living on your daughter’s property, you’re vulnerable to being stolen from by family. I really think you need to focus on protecting your assets.

    #1096536 Reply

    How do you know what she did with the money? You say you have evidence? But have presented nothing substantial really. “She lost a button…”. Um, what? That doesn’t even make sense.

    At any rate, if somebody was stealing cash from me, I’d stop leaving it lying around. But then I don’t despise my own grand daughter either.


    #1096549 Reply

    Susan your responses are “Strange” and no they do not make any sense.

    #1096551 Reply

    I hear my mom’s friends (who are awesome, funny and intelligent women) sass about their kids thinking they’ve lost it. Yes, they are more forgetful than they used to be and sometimes technology gets confusing. But these are smart women and sometimes their kids treat them like children.

    This doesn’t cross into elder abuse, if she was demanding power of attorney and then taking your money from the bank that’d cross into elder abuse. This is just stealing plain and simple. And you don’t know that it’s your granddaughter. If you want to set up a video cam of your RV and trap your granddaughter – have at it. But as someone else asked – what’s the outcome you want? To shame your granddaughter? She’s stealing from her grandmother – if it is her, she has no shame. To diminish her in front of her father? What’s that going to do? Knock her down a peg or two?

    Lock your shit up. Be mindful with your money and stuff – keys, phone, wallet, mask.

    #1096559 Reply

    I think LW means that she found granddaughter’ button inside her RV.

    #1096581 Reply

    I’m kind of astounded by the lack of support for the LW. It’s just sad all around. Her granddaughter clearly has a lot of challenges, but come on, nothing justifies theft like this.

    My question is this: if you know it’s been your granddaughter stealing, why didn’t you confront her before now? And have you discussed this with any other family members?

    Certainly the LW should be locking her car and locking the door to her home. But she shouldn’t need a safe within her own home for her purse. That’s excessive. If there’s an issue with family members, it should be dealt with.

    #1096582 Reply

    Well she wants the granddaughter to stop stealing right? Well she can’t control another person, so she’s limited to protecting her stuff or moving away since she lives on her daughter’s property.

    Setting up a nanny-cam might prove her point, but will that actually change circumstances? Will the daughter be kicked out or prohibited from visiting? Probably not.

    #1096617 Reply

    Eh, that button is pretty inconclusive. It could have fallen off at anytime.

    Many, many old people are constantly lose things. And blame everybody else.

    My friend’s mom insisted they fire a caregiver over stolen earings. So they did. Only to months later find them later in hidden in a sugar shaker. Mom then remembered hiding them there are she thought the caregiver MIGHT steal them.

    And of course the fucking earrings were worthless junk anyway.

    #1097092 Reply

    No proof and admitting that sometimes you forget will only lead to family faction and dividing.

    Is it possible that you learn to keep you money in one safe place, reduce the sum of money you keep in cash or use a debit card for daily purchases.

    Changing your behavior might allow family members to not build up resentment – making it impossible for your granddaughter to steal from you will assist you in not feeling violated or broke.

    Of course, you’d have to learn to forgive the past and start new… “I’m missing money” vs. “she stole from me” – shifts an entire family dynamic on a downward spiral.

    Let’s face it we need each other – esp. as we reach maturity. It is okay to stand down and not cause anguish

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