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Dear Wendy

Guy Who Wants Me.. and Maybe My Best Friend Too?

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  • #937776 Reply
    avatarMarissa J.

    I recently met this guy on a dating site. He is super sweet, and we are both looking for the same thing in a relationship. We have hung out several times. He met my best friend for the first time about a week ago, and he has talked about her nonstop. He keeps asking her to join us on dates, and he has asked about her sexual history at least three times. He mentions her out of the blue. We haven’t been together long, but it really hurts my feelings. I don’t know what to say to him, because I know it will result in a fight. Please help:(

    #937831 Reply

    Dump him.

    #937959 Reply

    He’s trying to move on from you to her and being insultingly unsubtle about it.

    #938189 Reply

    He’s not super sweet if he’s asking about your friend’s sex life and you’re afraid he’d fight with you if you brought it up. He’s a dud. Next.

    #938353 Reply

    Say “this really hurts my feelings,” and then dump him. Who cares if it starts a fight? It will be really good practice in speaking up for yourself. A fight doesn’t mean you’re wrong.

    He may try to talk you out of your feelings about his comments. Don’t let him. As objective outsiders, we are telling you that he is being weird, creepy, and rude.

    I’m not saying to get in a long, drawn-out argument about it, but just — say your peace and then exit.

    #938397 Reply

    He clearly… wants a threeway.

    #940241 Reply

    I wouldn’t introduce a friend to a guy I don’t even date. Strange idea.
    Anyway, he is not sweet, he is gross and discourteous. He obviously likes her.
    Ghost him and be sure that he will ask you for her telephone number.

    #940572 Reply

    He’s not super sweet if he asks your friend about her sex life and constantly brings her up despite that it pretty clearly hurts your feelings. Why wouldn’t you bring it up? Why would it result in a fight, if he’s so super sweet?

    He’s not sweet, he’s a jerk. And you need to be able to communicate when things are bothering you.

    #961326 Reply

    Hi Marissa!

    I can sympathize. I used to crush on a guy who kept asking me for details about a friend of mine. Eventually he married her.

    You need to walk away from this guy before he causes you any more emotional distress, and find someone who genuinely cares about you and your feelings.

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