Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Hate my friends boyfriend

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This topic contains 16 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by avatar Jen 1 week, 2 days ago.

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  • #806970 Reply
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    so my best friends boyfriend is the worst. He is entitled, arrogant, disrespectful, messy and smelly (I am not making this person up). But the worst part is is that he is bad for her. She misses class (we’re in college), spends a ton of money with him, messes up her sleep schedule for him, and essentially never says no to him. She is fully aware of how much we dislike him as its a constant fight (he has personally disrespected every roommate) and she still stays with him. They have been dating for a year now and have almost broken up 2 or 3 times, but they seem better than ever and I can see him proposing to her at some point. How do I deal with this situation as I love by friend but literally couldnt hate this kid more.

    #806971 Reply
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    ron

    You’ve told her what you think, she still wants to be with him, so it’s time to MYOB.

    #806973 Reply
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    JD

    One, not your business. Two, seriously? They are in college and keep breaking up or almost breaking up. It’ll be over soon enough.

    #806976 Reply
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    I feel like my post needs some clarifying. First, this is my best friend whom i live with so its my business in that he is around and because I care deeply about her and want the best for her and this is so far from it. He is also her first boyfriend and I really dont think they are going to break up as I don’t think she will break up with him and she is a catch for him so he wont break up with her. If I thought they were going to break up soon (or even not soon) I wouldnt be posting about it. We thought this was going to end a long time ago, but she doesn’t seem to see how much more she is worth. I get telling me to mind my own business, but that only helps me.

    #806977 Reply
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    JD

    Doesn’t matter if you live with her or if she is your best friend. She can date whoever she wishes.

    #806978 Reply
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    ktfran
    Participant

    Agree with Ron and JD. You voiced your concerns. There is nothing more you can do. You can’t control others no matter how much you want to. And believe me because I know from experience, the more you push, the more you’ll drive her away.

    #806980 Reply
    Copa
    Copa
    Participant

    You need to mind your own business! Even if you’re best friends, you don’t get to control who your friends date and it’s not your problem that she’s skipping class or spending a lot of money when she’s with him. She knows you don’t like him — she doesn’t care. If he’s around your shared living space a lot, at best you can put some general rules in place about having friends/boyfriends over that would apply to all roommates.

    #806981 Reply
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    Ok further clarification- i gave up the whole situation about two months ago. I havent talked to her about him since then and really just have been minding my own business as much as I can (I dont talk to her about it but I cant help but think about it). Ive been working hard on this, especially because I thought their relationship would just self destruct, but that hasnt happened and I dont think it will. This likely wont chance your guys thoughts on the matter because I cant do anything about that and I get it. My question was more how do I mentally deal with this.

    #806982 Reply
    Copa
    Copa
    Participant

    Spend less time with your friend and her boyfriend, more time with other friends. Maybe go out on some dates so you’re not obsessing this much over someone else’s love life?

    #806983 Reply
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    anonymousse
    Member

    Avoid spending time with her when he’s around. Focus on your school work and other friends.

    See your school counselor if you are really obsessing about this. Maybe there’s some latent jealousy or something else going on.

    #806984 Reply
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    JD

    Why is this mentally even a problem for you? Obsessive!! I could give two shits who my friends date short of them beating her. Get a life of your own. Your obsession is bizarre.

    #806987 Reply
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    Poppy
    Member

    If you have already voiced your concerns with her then there is nothing more you can do on that end but for your own mental state of well-being you need to stay away from this guy. If your friend ask what’s up you can just explain to her that you don’t like the guy and he makes you uncomfortable when you’re around him. If you think that you can continue a friendship with her while she is dating this guy then continue doing that with just you two hanging out. It’s understandable to be upset and thinking that you’re about to lose a friendship over something like this but it happens. Unless your friend is being abused then I really don’t see you jumping in any more than you have already done. If she wants to discuss her relationship with you and she starts being negative about it then I would tell her that you just can’t mentally deal with her talking about their relationship because you already don’t like the guy so if She’s continually to be negative about him then it makes you even more upset so you just don’t want to hear it. I get that. It’s super annoying to be annoyed by a friends relationship when all they do is be negative about it but they don’t leave the relationship.

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