Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Hate my life

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  • #1109679 Reply

    I have been working for the same company for 11 years. Worked from
    Bottom to management.
    January I got promoted and left the job I had loved. Due to my daughter constantly moaning at me as I was In her school. I went to this other job at head office, I felt ignored, wasn’t given no training and just had to wing it. Was told how to speak etc, which made me overthink everything. Also i did 200miles a day driving. So petrol was costing me anything up to 700-800 a month.
    I have got another job down where I live it’s a level lower than what I was. And a massive cut In wages. But this would cover the petrol costs.
    I just don’t know what the hell I am doing or feeling anymore I feel like crying all the time. My daughter is a nightmare and I feel I have lost everything I worked for because of her always at me. I lost the job I loved because of her kinda way.
    I just hope I am doing the right thing going to this new job, means no late nights coming home and it makes sense as being on my door etc and I can be home with my kids. But it’s I have lost the level of management I had which I am gutted about. I’m just crying all the time about it. And just feel like I am on edge and don’t give a damn about anything anymore and just generally hate my life

    #1109686 Reply

    Girl. It’s a job. It’s okay. It sounds like the new job will be a relief for you, and it’s fine to take a pay cut for a better quality of life. This doesn’t need to make you spiral! Try a couple weeks of the new job and if you still feel horrible about life then speak with a counselor. I’m sure it’s hard raising kids, I remember being an absolute raging bitch to my mom. But it doesn’t necessarily stay like that. And it doesn’t sound from your other posts that you actually loved that job. You’re in a time of transition right now and that’s okay. Be nice to yourself.

    #1109692 Reply

    I think you really need to take a step back and maybe reach out to friends or family if you’re struggling this much and also blaming your daughter for decisions you made, as an adult. Everyone’s been through a lot. There’s no shame in asking for help but please do not blame your child for the choice you made to switch offices. It can be easy to point the finger, and I’m sure had she not been whining, you wouldn’t have switched, but it was your choice to do that.

    A counselor or therapist would also be a really good idea especially considering your comment that you don’t give a damn about anything anymore and you hate your life. That’s concerning for anyone, but especially a parent. Please take these feelings seriously.

    #1109696 Reply

    You say that counting commuting costs you have the same net work/commute take home you had before. Plus you’ll pay less taxes on the lower income. So, financially you haven’t loss a thing. And, you’ve gained hours per day, which has to be a plus. Don’t assume you won’t be able to advance at the new company. You’ve brought all the skills and experience which earned you that position at your old company. Perform well and new employer will see that. Can’t perform well in your current frame of mind. A therapist is a good idea to get you over this hump.

    To things to consider: as you marched up the ladder at your old company, was the level at the company the main thing which gave you self-worth? There’s more to life than work. Your daughter is important.

    Second, I have worked with several persons who had the sort of daily commute you’ve had. To a person, they told me it wasn’t as bad as I assumed and that they came to enjoy the commute as time to think, to relax, to be alone with themselves. It was peaceful for them — the drive home was a time to unwind after work, before encountering any of the responsibilities, tasks, or stress of family. Perhaps you needed that commute unwind time more than you realize. You can create an even more peaceful replacement for it: take some of the time you’ve saved on commute and use it as self-time — perhaps sit in a park, drink coffee in a small shop, browse in whatever store/museum makes you smile. You don’t have to spend every minute you saved at home, if that is just running from one stress to another. It works for you and your daughter. She sees more of you than you did before and you get the relaxing unwind you need.

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