Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Have you ever gotten back together with an ex?

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice Have you ever gotten back together with an ex?

This topic contains 15 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by avatar Prognosti-gator 3 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #847208 Reply
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    Megan

    If yes, how did it end up? Marriage, still together, did you break up again?

    A month ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 8 months. I don’t know if I made the right decision.

    #847211 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    Yes, I broke up and got back together with pretty much each of my exes. One of them more times than I could count. What I found was, there was a reason we broke up, and that reason would rear its head again after we got back together. On the other hand, I never broke up with my current husband.

    I think it can work, but the reason for the breakup has to have really been worked through or eliminated (such as distance).

    #847214 Reply
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    Essie
    Participant

    Why did you break up with him?

    #847215 Reply
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    Megan

    I broke up with him because it was a long distance relationship and we hadn’t seen each other in 6 months. I tried to see him twice, but both times it didn’t work out. The first time he was supposed to visit me, but he cancelled. The second time I was going to visit him, but as the time got closer he told me that he was going to be busy and I shouldn’t visit him.

    #847216 Reply
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    snoopy

    He doesn’t want to see you. Stay broken up.

    #847217 Reply
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    Essie
    Participant

    It sounds like he broke up with you.

    #847218 Reply

    You should stay broken up.

    #847219 Reply
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    Fyodor
    Member

    The number one predictor of divorce is having broken up earlier during the relationship. Generally if you break up, it’s for a reason.

    #847220 Reply
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    Megan

    His behavior is confusing. Before we broke up he said he loved me and wanted to get married. However he seemed to have a problem seeing me in person again. He said he wanted to see me, but always made excuses. When I broke up with him we tried to remain friends, but then he said it was too difficult and blocked my number. We haven’t talked in a month now.

    #847221 Reply
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    keyblade
    Member

    It sounds like he was attracted to the idea of you, or maintaining physical distance for the duration of your time together. If more of that was what you wanted, maybe you could have kept the relationship the same. I think if you had doubts, you were right to breakup. He could turn out to be a whole different guy than the one on social media. Even if he did sincerely want to be with you, he left you feeling confused. Why would you want to start back there?

    #847222 Reply

    Talk is cheap. Actions speak louder. By that I mean, if he has really wanted to see you, be with you- he would have. He didn’t. Time to move on.
    I highly recommend dating guys you can see often. That’s how you build a relationship-IRL experiences.

    #847231 Reply
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    dogmom

    I’m sorry if this sounds bitchy, but … it doesn’t matter if you think you made the right decision. He’s blocked your number! That ship has sailed, so try to make peace with it because you’re not getting back together.

    And look, about five years ago I very casually dated a guy who was anywhere from a 2.5- to 3.5-hour commute away, depending on where in his metro area we were meeting up. The last couple months he made every excuse not to see me — he was working double shifts for two weeks after taking off a week to visit his dad out of state, he had already made plans a week in advance to hang with friends, etc. I was getting super-annoyed because it felt like I was doing all the work trying to keep things going, and then I finally got the “I’m seeing somebody else” text. So if you’re the one doing all the work to keep things going, that’s not a good sign.

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