bubba71April 17, 2023 at 10:12 am #1119698
Just wondering if I am over reacting. I’ve been seeing someone for about 3 months now. He can be kind of vague when making plans (not providing a time) so sometimes I have to ask about details to determine when and where exactly we will hang out. The other day we were hanging out and he said we would hang out the following day (but didn’t provide a time). That day I sent him a text to let him know i would be out early in the day but would be home around 3 pm. He then sent me a text at 3 pm (not related to going out, just a meme) and then another one about an hour later. He still hadn’t said when we were going to get together by 6:30 pm, so I sent him a text. He replied about 30 minutes later that he was out with his brother. So I said OK and have a nice night. Would this bother anyone else? I thought it was so rude, but maybe I am overreacting? He texting me this morning, but didn’t mention the other night. How do I handle this? It really rubbed me the wrong way.
Why are you waiting for him to make plans/ tell you when you’re meeting up? Be assertive! Take the initiative to make plans! And when he beats you to suggesting hanging out, just say “great, I’m free at such-and-suck time. Does that work for you? You wanna watch that movie/ get lunch/ go for a hike?” You’re being too passive. And on that note: yes, mention to the guy that you were offended that he suggested hanging out on Monday, you told him when you were free, you reached out at that time, and he was doing something else and didn’t even seem to remember he suggested getting together with you. Tell him that you want to feel like more of a priority.bubba71April 17, 2023 at 10:28 am #1119702
Hey Wendy….thank you for your reply….I do make plans with him and so far he has always been enthusiastic and showed up on time….its just when he makes plans that things become unclear I guess is how i would describe it….and then the other night he just flaked which is what really bothered me….but i think i will try the approach of suggesting a time and see if that helpsAnonymousseApril 17, 2023 at 10:43 am #1119703
I would be more communications with him. Tell him wan at time. When you see him next, calmly tell him you’d like him to be more decisive about making plans. Ask for what you want instead of being mad someone isn’t doing what you haven’t really told them you want. I don’t think he was necessarily rude, it doesn’t sound like you had concrete plans to me.AnonymousseApril 17, 2023 at 10:44 am #1119704
Oh my goodness, sorry for the garble.
^I would be more communicative with him. Tell him when and where.
Yes, this would’ve bothered me when I was dating. It’s really hard to imagine myself dating someone who communicated plans like this for three months… I think I’d have ended things well before the three-month mark due to not feeling like a priority. You can tell him how you feel and be more assertive. Or you can date someone who makes you a priority without having to ask.