He doesn’t feel a spark anymore

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  • katherine
    October 3, 2022 at 5:51 am #1116331

    I was always telling him next time would be better.
    At some point I mentioned that I was getting a dildo while I was away from him, he then said it was a good idea so that next time the sex won’t be painful.
    When I got the toy, turned out it was also a bigger one,I honestly place the wrong size order.
    He then complained that I shouldn’t use it too much as I could get used to it too much and a man won’t be able to please me.
    I eventually ordered a smaller one cause I actually didn’t like that one.

    I just came back from visiting my parents this last weekend, he came over last night and spent the day then we had sex and it hurt still but not as much as the first time, he was still rough but I just pretended I like it that way.
    I know he did tell me everything he knows about sex he learnt from porn so I wanted to be able to do it his way.
    He kept going and didn’t cum, I was honestly so sore and didn’t want to continue.
    He then made a comment about how he can’t believe that it’s just like the last time. It made me feel kinda bad so I told him maybe we should stop. He said okay.

    But I felt bad and told myself I wanted it to be great sex and for him to cum.
    So I tried to initiate and get him to have sex but he pushed me off and refused.
    Said he didn’t want to, he was satisfied with the one we did and he wanted to sleep. He is just happy that I was here.
    He went ahead and said I was being so unfair and seemed pissed.
    I apologised twice anyways.
    Fast forward this morning , he tells me he just feels like there isn’t any spark between us as before and he doesn’t know if this would work.
    I’m honestly hurt.
    It just doesn’t make sense.
    I don’t know if he genuinely doesn’t feel a spark or is this cause of the sex.
    Even if it’s the spark is it really what the relationship is all about?
    I mean don’t people work things out anymore?
    I mean I don’t think it should be based off the spark or whatever.
    I’m gutted and I can’t stop crying.
    He said it’s what is best for us in the long run.

    October 3, 2022 at 6:44 am #1116332

    Sex should not hurt.
    If it hurts, you should say something about it and change what you’re doing.

    October 23, 2022 at 9:58 pm #1116585

    Do you want to have sex because it’s accepted, or because you both feel like it? I got the impression that you yourself do not want your partner and sex in general. Are you getting aroused by your partner? You need to honestly answer these questions for yourself. If you’re aroused but still in pain, try increasing your foreplay time, starting with your fingers first. If that doesn’t help, then you need to see a doctor.

    October 24, 2022 at 3:41 pm #1116595

    Sex can be a wonderful thing but only when you have the self confidence to advocate for yourself and what turns you on. Every step of the way you’ve put aside your own needs to ensure your horrible boyfriend gets what he wants.

    Stop having sex you don’t want, stop having painful sex, stop letting someone treat you like a porn actress – none of that is real and it won’t give you any pleasure – and most of all STOP seeing someone who treats your comfort and pleasure like an inconvenience! This man doesn’t care about you, nobody who cared about you would get angry that you are in pain because of them. Let him stay gone and take some time to really explore your self confidence.

    October 24, 2022 at 5:53 pm #1116600

    It is very sad to me that you are so gutted over someone you don’t even sound interested in. You didn’t mention anything about him that you like, or that you have in common other than painful sex.

    I’m not even sure why you told us all about the dildo exploration, because it has nothing to do with your story. He doesn’t feel it with you, and instead of wasting your time or continue trying to have sex that obviously pains you (why would you subject yourself to this?) he’s being honest. That’s a good thing.

    Therapy. Women were not put on the planet to please men. I’m not sure where you got that idea, but I think you should probably avoid dating while you see a therapist and speak to your dr about sex being painful.

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He doesn’t feel a spark anymore

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