He made a 2 weeks vacation plan without me.

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  • Carnation
    January 16, 2019 at 6:48 pm #816002

    My boyfriend of 3 years made plans to visit a city i have been dreaming of visiting on his own. When he told me, he was already done with his visa application and has made end-to-end plans without me.

    I was so hurt and i felt so dismissed. We talked and argued about this. And he extended an invite to me to join him at the final week of his trip as a resolution.

    I may understand his need to travel alone. But i still feel so hurt. I couldn’t bring myself to accept the invitation. I know the whole process of getting there is going to remind me of how he actually planned for this trip for him only.

    It seems like no matter the talking or resolution. I will always be on my own feeling hurt and sorry for myself for being completely dismissed in the beginning.

    What do i do?

    January 16, 2019 at 6:59 pm #816003

    Well, why did he not invite you? That’s the question that leads you to your answer.

    January 16, 2019 at 7:14 pm #816004

    If you feel that strongly about it, then you have to MOA.

    January 16, 2019 at 7:21 pm #816005

    I’m not sure you need to move on because someone didn’t want to go on a trip with their significant other. That’s a stretch. Depends why.

    January 16, 2019 at 7:26 pm #816006

    Yeah. Need more details. Is this a trip with his friends? Family? Solo? Why is he going?

    January 16, 2019 at 7:36 pm #816007

    “I may understand his need to travel alone.” Well it sounds like his reason for booking this trip was to go solo.

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    January 16, 2019 at 7:39 pm #816008

    Traveling alone is often very rewarding. Not EVERYTHING is a fucking slight.

    January 16, 2019 at 7:48 pm #816010

    I don’t think he was dismissive towards your feelings. He had two weeks of vacation and so he decided to go to a place that piqued his interest which so happened to pique your interest. Just because he gets to go doesn’t mean you have to be angry towards him about it. You should be excited for him and tell hom youd like to plan a vacation with him sometime to go.

    January 16, 2019 at 7:58 pm #816013

    I personally think it’s really weird and a bad sign for a partner of 3 years to plan a solo trip to a place they know their partner has wanted to go, and not even discuss it first. I think you do need to understand his thinking behind this. Like, yeah, traveling alone can be nice, but why are you in a 3-year relationship with someone if you’d rather travel without them?

    January 16, 2019 at 8:07 pm #816014

    Who does all that and just doesn’t say anything? If he wanted to travel solo fine but it’s super weird it was never brought up at all until it was a done deal, especially in such an established relationship. The fact it’s somewhere LW has always wanted to go also seems strange. My husband would delight taking me to my dream location, he could go on a solo trip another time.

    January 16, 2019 at 8:24 pm #816015

    It comes off to me that he needs a breather. Yea, ok i agree that at 3 years into an seem to be good relationship, that you would bring this up with you s/o but either he just wanted a time to just do him, or he new you couldn’t afford to go when he could go or plan to go when he wanted to go. But my two of my red flags are this, wanting alone time is fine, but to specifically pick where he knows you would wanna go tells me he either A. Did in fact just wanna be alone in doing so, and I’d bet a guess that you BOTH have said you’d love to go to that place, he was just at a point in being able to do so, and unfortunately it just wouldn’t coincide with you being able to at the same time and kept it from you because he was a pussy and didn’t tell you because he knew you’d be upset and make hime feel guilty. B. He is cheating somehow and said you can come towards the end so he won’t be caught. If it’s the ladder (latter?) then I’d MOA, but for the other reasons I dunno…

    January 16, 2019 at 8:39 pm #816016

    Three years into a relationship, makes plans that include a visa. Going where you always dreamed about. Not a word to the wise and then springs it on you as a done deal. Not that into you and meeting someone else. MOA

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He made a 2 weeks vacation plan without me.

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