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Dear Wendy

“He Says He Doesn’t Know ‘What We Are’”

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice “He Says He Doesn’t Know ‘What We Are'”

This topic contains 33 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by avatar Hazel 1 month, 1 week ago.

Viewing 12 posts - 13 through 24 (of 34 total)
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  • #848189 Reply
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    Fyodor

    I mean, her family has some sense of what’s going on so it’s probably not crazily inappropriate situation. That being said, she may not be mature enough to date, which is fine. But if she’s not ready to date, she should cut bait from this situation.

    #848199 Reply
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    LisforLeslie

    @ktfran – the OP says a couple of years but that could be misrepresented.

    OP – he knows you have a crush on him. He knows. He is either not ready to date you or doesn’t want to date you.

    #848205 Reply
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    ron

    Lis for Leslie —
    He is ready to date and he does want to date her. She says he has asked her out on dates several times and she always refuses, because she is afraid of a broken heart. She wants some sort of guarantee that they are already bf/gf, will marry, stay together for the rest of their lives, and have a happy family with 3 children and many grandchildren, before she accepts a date. Until she fixes herself and loses this extreme anxiety about a broken heart, she is not yet mature enough to date.

    #848211 Reply
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    Samantha

    He is 19 an I am 17

    #848212 Reply
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    Fyodor

    In that case, either go on some dates with him or cut bait. This is how people decide if they’re a romantic match. They date. Dragging him through all this bullsh*t and demands for emotional commitment before you’ve gone out is really juvenile.

    If you don’t feel ready to date, that’s absolutely fine. People mature at different rates and there’s nothing to be ashamed about if you’re not ready.

    But if you’re not ready to date, stop investing yourself emotionally in this situation and stop wasting his time.

    #848213 Reply
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    Samantha

    @fyodor I really do like him but I’m just worried his will be mad due to the fact his ex is my best friend but I am goin on a date with him Saturday night. He did end up giving me one of his favorite shirts the other day when we hung out he told me to wear it when I missed him and i do wear it but i will go on a date with him. Thank you for your help

    #848216 Reply
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    FYI

    This thing about his shirt is ridiculous.
    This thing about his ex being your best friend — what?!

    Why didn’t you say that in the first place? Does your “best friend” know you’re kissing this guy? That’s why you’re hesitating. Aren’t there other guys you can date? At the very least, talk to your supposed best friend before you date her ex. Give her a heads-up at least.

    If it were me, I’d find someone else.

    #848217 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    Oh. He previously dated your best friend? So you’ve been cozying up and spending time with him and getting his shirt (is it his football sweatshirt lol?) to wear on the low, but you don’t want to actually date him because you’d lose your best friend? Am I getting that right?

    #848221 Reply

    I don’t think it’s a good idea to date your best friend’s ex. Do you want to lose your bff? Does she know about this? Is he going away to college this fall?

    #848223 Reply
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    LisforLeslie

    Whoooaaa way to bury the lede!

    As much as your friend can’t claim dibs-infinity on an ex, if he dumped her and you start dating him, she will likely no longer be your friend. Unless she is significantly more mature than 99.999999% of the population, she’s going to be pretty upset.

    #848225 Reply

    Maybe your intuition is telling you something and that’s why you’ve been dragging your feet. Any chance dating you is an attempt at him being shitty to his ex?

    #848230 Reply
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    Donna

    Oh boy….the plot thickens!

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