He wants to buy a house with his mother

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  • This topic has 2 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 1 year ago by Kate.
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  • Jummix
    May 1, 2023 at 2:13 am #1119889

    An old friend turned boyfriend and I started traveling together each month for the past 6 months. We seemed to want the same things and had respect, trust and pretty awesome friendship on top of falling in love. About 2 months ago he saw a nice house and showed me photos of it and hinted that maybe we should buy it together. Unfortunately the moment we inquired for a visit, an offer had already been made and soon enough it was sold. So that was that.
    I live in a house while he lives in an apartment as our current living situation. Both of us owners of the respective places. His mother which I know for many years is going in an out of his apartment and spends a lot of time there. No problem so far. However tonight, he said that he plans to buy a house with his mother by this summer and that he found a couple houses close to where I live so that he will be closer to me. I’m not sure what is going on but I am sitting here now at 3 AM in the morning wondering if and how I should even begin a conversation about him buying a house and live with his mother? He said that I would come stay with him there but, what? Am I losing sleep over this for nothing?
    His mother does have a long term boyfriend but she doesn’t live with him full time. I thought that we are building something together, no parents involved. Am I out of line? Should I even bring this up?
    We’ve been together as a couple for 6 months and have been friends for a little over 15 years; his sister is also my best friend. I’m not sure how to bring this up to him but it bothers me enough for me to ask for advice from strangers…

    May 1, 2023 at 6:32 am #1119890

    I would just tell him when you have calmed down a bit almost exactly what you said here. You thought you were building something together, where do you fit, if he lives with his mother?

    I have to say, I know you’ve known each other a long time but six months seems really fast to buy property with someone, in my opinion.

    May 1, 2023 at 6:52 am #1119891

    Yes, this is when you need to go out for a drink with him or take a walk and have a nice conversation about where you both see this going and what you want. Do NOT just say nothing and see where this goes. You have to communicate.

    My guess is he wants a house but needs 2 incomes to make that happen. It could be he really does want to live with mom and have you move in eventually too. If so, you need to know that.

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He wants to buy a house with his mother

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