Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Help.

This topic contains 25 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by avatar Deigh 3 weeks, 5 days ago.

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  • #841574 Reply
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    Elizabeth Jackson

    2 weeks before our wedding he goes to spain. Meets a girl. Apparently while hanging out with her feels “dizzy” could not get it up. And once he realized that’s this women was trying to fuck him pushed her off. Truth or not? Should I take him back? Make him work his ass of to earn me back?

    #841580 Reply
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    Kate

    Wait, what? Why did he tell you this? More context, please.

    Did you already marry him? If not, I would say don’t.

    #841582 Reply
    Skyblossom
    Skyblossom
    Participant

    I agree with Kate. I you aren’t married yet you should wait. Work out the situation and only get married when you feel confident that the relationship is sound. I think that will likely take several years at a minimum. Getting married won’t solve or cure a bad relationship. It won’t improve trust. It won’t create fidelity.

    #841584 Reply
    bittergaymark
    Bittergaymark

    Um, okay, so it sounds like he was drugged and sexually assaulted and yet you think you’re the victim? Grow up.

    #841586 Reply
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    Essie
    Participant

    I’m very confused. He met a girl and “could not get it up?” He told you this?

    #841589 Reply
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    ron

    Yes it makes no sense. He pushed the woman off him (how did she get on him?) when he realized she wanted to fuck him is totally inconsistent with ‘he couldn’t get it up’, which means he was trying to fuck her, or else why would he want to get it up? And then he’s saying he was drugged, so more like she was trying to rob him without fucking him, while he was trying to fuck her, but couldn’t. It’s a very strange story for him to tell over something that happened in a foreign country Likely the woman or accomplice stole his wallet and has contact info and he is expecting word to get back.

    #841590 Reply
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    ele4phant

    Was there an errant typo in your sentence that radically changed the meaning of what you were saying OP? Did you mean to type “He could not get up”, not “He could not get *it* up”?

    I *think* what the OP is saying is that according to her fiance, he was out at a bar, met a woman, started feeling dizzy and out of it (implying he thinks he was drugged?), and somehow finds this woman on top of him trying to take advantage of him until he gets the where-with-all to push her away and get out of there?

    I really can’t advise you on if he’s feeding you a line of bull or if a woman was trying to date-rape him (or maybe just rob him); I think you need to come back and clarify what happened before anyone can give you useful advice.

    #841635 Reply

    Seconding ele4phant – I don’t really understand what happened. Did a woman try to rape him? If so – that would be a really shitty reason to break up with someone.

    #841647 Reply
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    Kate

    Well, but even if that is what happened, why was he presumably alone with this woman, hanging out in a place where she could drug him and get on top of him?

    #841652 Reply
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    Ele4phant

    So…I have no idea what to make of the OP’s post and I need her to come back to clarify things.

    That said, to my understanding roofies don’t make you like, pass out on the spot – you loss your memory and your mental faculties and become extremely pliable, allowing someone to easily maneuver you into a situation you wouldn’t otherwise consent to.

    Plenty of women have been slipped something at a bar, been walked out of the bar without anyone thinking anything was amiss aside from her being drunk, and then woken up somewhere strange having no idea what happened to her.

    So…I’m not going to make any judgements one way or the other about his guilt or question what he was doing with this woman until she tells us more.

    #841653 Reply
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    LisforLeslie

    Typically men roofie women for sex and women and men roofie men to rob them. It may not be the actual rohyp-whatever drug, in old movies they call it “slipping someone a mickey.”

    Do you trust your boyfriend? What brought this topic up? When did he tell you about this? The next day, when he got back?

    And yes – there is a huge difference between “Couldn’t get up.” and “Couldn’t get it up.” Like a ginormous difference.

    #841654 Reply
    bittergaymark
    Bittergaymark

    Kate? Really. WTF? So if a woman is ever drugged and dragged off somewhere alone and then sexually assaulted… it’s somehow HER fault? I mean — really — what was she doing there alone?! Come on. You must realize in retrospect how OFF your last post just was.

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