@essie Yes, I got a similar impression and it worried me. Thanks for putting it into words.
There doesn’t seem to be much tenderness towards the child – she’d much rather he stopped being involved because that would make things simpler for her. And yet she is super keen to be involved. This feels like using the baby to score points, even if they don’t realise it.
Insecurity is understandable under the circumstances, but the kid isn’t a toy to be passed aroud. She says that the baby’s mother is prioritised – how? He sees her once a week for an hour, to see his baby, and not particularly enthusiastically. This is not a man playing families with his ex or crssing boundaries.
Yes, the mother’s wishes regarding the child come first – she’s the primary caregiver raising the kid, so naturally anything regarding the kid has to be run past her because shes legally responsible for it. He could choose to take his share, but it doesn’t sound like he’s happy to parent at all, or ready for more responsibility – even by the LWs standards. Ideally it’d involve compromise from both parents and ensuring both are comfortable as possible.
What possible reason would the baby’s mother have to introduce the child to the current (and if this guy’s record is anything to go by, very temporary) girlfriend of the deadbeat guy who got her pregnant, doesn’t pay child support, and infrequently visits briefly with his child, because his mother makes him do it? She’d be crazy to let LW meet her child. No benefit whatsoever to child.