Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

his idea of sex is me taking care of him

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This topic contains 19 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by avatar CET 2 months ago.

Viewing 8 posts - 13 through 20 (of 20 total)
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  • #815133 Reply
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    CET

    You are not stuck with him! You need to leave him! Leave now…TODAY. Don’t tell him. Pack up your stuff and go stay with a friend or family member while you find a place to live and find a different job. You need to work on your self esteem before getting into another relationship so this doesn’t happen again. You are a good person and you deserve someone who treats you better than this.

    #815289 Reply
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    pmb
    Member

    the words of support are so appreciated— my family is 500 miles away and are not in the picture–things I left out, I am 62 years old– and it is tough finding a job–though I am looking– thru my time married to my husband these past 6 years I have lost all my friends– either because they hate him or have given up on me—I was always been the one to give support and money to help people—I do not have a big ego-but know that people did look up to me as they did think I had it all– I never, even as as as a teenager ever let on that I couldn’t handle things- I was married for 30 years to someone who treasured me–so for the first few years with this guy I thought I was being unfair–however at this time, he has taken me for every dime I had–made me feel for any jewelry I had and to sell it, constantly asks me about any account I may have from my late husband or my great aunt– I did receive a random disbursement of $25,000 which he jumped on immediately as “he” needed it—now that he knows there is absolutely nothing left, he treats me worst — we bought property together, he had an agreement to sell it, already got a $10,000 deposit, which he totally denies— obviously we have separate accounts as he was emptying mine– I have to say– I feel like such a loser–allowed myself to get into this–slowly, but here I am — to get out??? No money— even if I can get a job— who is paying a senior citizen any money? –To move?–where-? I make too much to go to the homeless places, or abuse centers— I have no insurance, he put my car in his name when we got married, and conveniently left off MINE!! so– legally no car— I guess I just wanted to let you all know that your words of encouragement helped me so much, and I do re-read them every day for strength. thank you

    #815369 Reply
    Skyblossom
    Skyblossom
    Participant

    Call a women’s shelter. They help all women.

    #815372 Reply
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    Kate

    Yes, you’re in an abusive marriage, please recognize that. It doesn’t matter how much money your abusive husband makes (I assume you were referring to his income when you said you make too much). A shelter or a hotline for abused women can help you strategize how to get out and how to rebuild your life. They might also be able to connect you with free legal resources since it sounds like you personally have no money.

    #815376 Reply
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    Kate

    Another option might be your city’s council on aging or senior services, if 62 is considered a senior.

    #815380 Reply
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    Kate

    Yes, elder abuse. Physical, psychological or sexual abuse, financial exploitation, & intentional or unintentional neglect of an individual over 60. Abusers are often spouses. Look it up, there’s a department and phone number for it in my city.

    #815428 Reply
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    golfer.gal

    Also, any money he has or property you sell, you are entitled to half in the event of a divorce and he is required to disclose it. It is much, much better to get away from this man than to chalk it up as “lost “, then you’ll really be up a creek. A year from now things can be better or they can be worse. Please do as Kate suggested and look for resources in your city for elder abuse, as well as calling the domestic abuse hotline and getting into a shelter or housing. They’ll also help connect you with legal help. Take steps to get anything you have of value (sentinamteal or monetary) safe and away from him. Can you call on some of the people you have helped over the years to help you now? Please do everything and anything you can to get away from this man. There are agencies that will help you. Please call them.

    #816098 Reply
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    CET

    You are better off without him. Definitely leave him when he is out one day. Make a plan of where to live, quickly pack, and go. Leave him a letter if you want. Don’t take his calls or answer his emails or let him try to sweet talk you into coming back…block him. I wish you luck…you deserve so much better.

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