How about I just let you guys roast my whole life since I’m here?

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Viewing 11 posts - 13 through 23 (of 23 total)
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  • Anonymousse
    December 13, 2022 at 9:03 am #1117124

    My husband’s youngest sister is 43, lives at home with her mom and dad and bakes and decorates not-great cakes to make money, which I am pretty sure she spends on booze and weed. Her car she paid nothing for, her mom just can’t drive anymore. Before that she destroyed two cars by never putting oil in the engines. Literally cannot make this up. Two car engines ruined by neglect and ignoring the “put oil in” light for ages in a row. I can’t tell you how many jobs she’s fucked up, most of which family or friends have tried to help her get to have a steady job. She’s basically the saddest person I know. I feel her pain, you can smell it on her. But she also refuses to get help- therapy.

    Once years ago, she got this faraway look in her eye and told me how she’d envisioned a different life, with a boyfriend or husband, maybe kids.

    Life doesn’t just happen, you have to take the steering wheel, Hunter. No one is going to fix yours for you but you.

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    Kate
    December 13, 2022 at 10:59 am #1117125

    My ex never changed his oil. He had a check for $20-some-thousand from when he was bought out of our condo. He spent it on a new truck (i forget what he did with our nice car that i let him have because I didn’t need one, probably the engine seized up because he never changed the oil). He went out to Vegas for some sales job that of course turned out to be bullshit, and on the way back the engine of his new truck seized up because he never changed the oil, and he just left it there on the side of the road.

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    December 13, 2022 at 3:06 pm #1117126

    Not going to castigate you for your choices, it’s been covered well by others and having made worse myself I’m in no place to judge. But I think you really ought to spend some time thinking about how you regard the women/girls in and around your life. Just read what you wrote, only that bit, again, and imagine it is someone writing it about your sister. Obviously a woman shouldn’t have to be related to you to deserve real consideration; she should deserve that for herself- but sometimes that can be a useful tool for reflection.

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    peggy
    December 13, 2022 at 4:02 pm #1117127

    Yes, I agree with everyone’s take/advice. I will also point out that I have lived, and ran businesses in places where there are lots of “street” people.
    So much of what I observed, was they were people that wouldn’t/couldn’t follow any societal norms or rules or did not want anyone “telling them how to live, what to do”. They could not seem to plan, or think ahead of consequences
    for actions or lack of action.
    I say this not to dump on them ( and I know there are mental health and drug issues etc.)…but you still have a chance to avoid getting to that point by changing your attitude/steering your own wheel,as anon said. So drop the attitude and get help if you can’t do it on your own.
    I will also point out that I met one enterprising guy that was trying to get off the street/better his life. He lived in a one room place that was a transition type place but not run/policed by an agency/govt. group.
    Bill had a daily routine. He had a set route and got up early to follow it. He gathered bottles and cans and saved them up for extra money. Once a week he took a cab to the depot and cashed them in. He was always kind and friendly and would shovel my sidewalk, help load heavy boxes etc. When I moved,I gave him many items he could use or trade or sell. He made the most of his circumstances and worked hard for a better life/a return to where he had once been. Stop sitting around feeling hard done by and judged and take action…start someone and stay with it…snd be grateful along the way. Wish you the best.

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    peggy
    December 13, 2022 at 4:04 pm #1117128

    Start somewhere I meant.

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    Anonymousse
    December 13, 2022 at 5:20 pm #1117129

    I didn’t read everything but seeing the meth comments and the comments about girls or women, not cool. It’s just not cool, not any of it. I don’t want to make you feel bad, I want you to realize it is your choices you make that are sabotaging what you say you want- people to leave you alone, treat you with respect, etc.

    And Kate, wow, do you have his number? Does he smoke or like people that inhale cigarettes like a chimney? They could ruin cars and leave them behind in their wake, together. She had her old one that seized parked on the street on the cute little borough street my husband grew up on in PA for three years and she finally had to tow it to the dump or wherever you take useless scrap heaps that have been sitting untended for 3 years because she was getting fines, not because she wanted to.

    I’m sorry guys, this is just the top of the iceberg with her. I have a huge issue with his family and their strange blind spots to things… I don’t know. You know my family is far from perfect but we’re healing, his family just ignores huge elephants in the room all the time. I’ve stepped back a little recently and am happy with that choice.

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    Anonymousse
    December 13, 2022 at 5:29 pm #1117130

    Oh god, yeah, the adult woman nearly a decade older than you, making her own choices, good or bad, despite whether you like them or agree with them and then calling her a “hoe” a second after saying maybe she was raped? Like, Hunter? That’s so disrespectful and what anyone does with their own body is their business and not any of yours if they are not hurting you.

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    Anonymousse
    December 13, 2022 at 5:45 pm #1117131

    No, not every guy would take advantage of a woman who is drunk, if she was. I’m sorry you’ve only apparently heard of men up behaving like scumbags, but there are gentlemen still out there, there are decent men and people who don’t sexually assault women given the option. Although, I don’t think “not raping someone” makes someone a “great” personal that’s basic human decency, that’s bare minimum, Hunter. And you then call her a “hoe.” Imagine how that victim feels the next day, Hunter, when there’s plenty of guys like you that think if a woman is drunk, she somehow is asking to be raped by any man near her? Or an man would? That’s a really sickening thought. I’m a pessimist and I didn’t think all men thought that way. I know many men who don’t and a lot I would say are scumbags without openly say8ng if a w9man is drunk, hey, any man would?

    Women aren’t allowed to get drunk because no men can control themselves? You need a therapist. Call the hotline. If your dad and family raised you to believe that, you need way, way way, more help than we can give you here.

    Also, still important, but less sickening as the above point, If a car is stopped in your lane and you cannot pass around them (yeah, they shouldn’t be) but you should also be stopping long before you come near them. You cannot just plow into the car in front of you. There are engine failures, medical issues, people run out of gas or people are driving cars they are unfamiliar with, whatever, etc.

    And also, normal- fairly happy adults give each other grace when they come upon someone stopped for a second in the road, even to look at directions or something stupid because we all make mistakes. Nearly hitting another car is again, erratic behavior. You just scream for attention at every turn. I’m sorry your dad was a druggie and didn’t pay attention to you. Stop following in his footsteps and stop thinking smoking ice, hanging out with methheads, or enjoying feeling high is a sign from god you’re on the right path. That’s not what god wants, I’m sure, if there indeed is one. God needs you to start focusing on being a functioning member of society in whatever way you can and not another person your mother has to worry about constantly and bail out. Don’t give her more trauma. Do that for her. Be better for her, if you can’t do it for yourself and to stop me from writing these agonizingly boring monologues of advice you don’t really want to read or do.

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    Anonymousse
    December 13, 2022 at 5:59 pm #1117132

    My dad was also a druggie, abandoned me at 11 and I’ve seen him 4 times since then and 3 of those 4 were attempts I made, and I’m 39. 1 visit I was tricked into, to be honest. I thought I was only visiting my grandma. The attempt he made most recently (the only one he’s made not of someone else’s plans) he stopped by and stayed in a nearby hotel for 3 days/2 nights FOUR YEARS ago. This was to spend time with the grandkids. He mostly napped at the hotel. He’s not old. He’s not disabled. He’s just a self involved jerk.

    I don’t think doing the drugs he did while he wasted my childhood years are cool. He choose to be a child free guy who unfortunately, was also my only real father. I know how the damage of a fucked parent can feel. I have struggled with a lot of problems from that Hunter, not unlike you. I still struggle with it. But I will say, I have never once been arrested or pulled or or in trouble in any way, because my erratic up behavior was done alone or with friends, not in full view of my town. I never let the bad things that have happened to me- disgusting men taking advantage of a hurt person- overtake me and let me become completely embittered to the world. And that’s just some of the traumas I have. You have a shitty father, many of us do, and many of us find a way to enjoy our lives by not being shitty like them.

    I’m done for real, thanks you all for reading excerpts of my memoir.

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    Peeking in
    December 18, 2022 at 1:01 pm #1117239

    I used to be a lurker but I haven’t been here in years. Since before the pandemic I think… I can’t believe you are still posting here Hunter. You used to be a kid and a lot of your nonsense could be excused by that, but it’s been years at this point. You’re not a kid anymore. Find a therapist and stop posting here. What are you getting out of this? I’m really sorry things seem to be so hard for you, but you need to help yourself too.

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    Daisy
    December 27, 2022 at 1:15 pm #1117317

    Everyone else has covered things pretty well, but I want to add, while weed doesn’t make you mean, it CAN make you paranoid. It does that to me sometimes. I start thinking that everyone around me is plotting against me. And reading about how you think everyone is ganging up on you to try to make your life miserable? Well, they aren’t, but it’s possible the weed is making you more prone to think that.

    I don’t have major problems with people using weed and I use it sometimes myself, but I think you would benefit from stopping. It’s not a necessity, and it doesn’t seem to be making your life better. Take the money you spend on weed and put it towards therapy. With what you said you went through with your dad — that’s a lot for anyone to deal with and it’s almost impossible to heal from it without some professional help. Give a gift to yourself and hire someone to help you deal with the shit that life dealt out to you. You deserve that.

    With regard to driving, you are breaking a law that was literally created to keep people from dying. So yeah, people do have a right to criticize you for that! I challenge you to go a week without speeding, AT ALL. Not 10 miles above the speed limit. Not 5 miles. Just drive the speed limit. It’s a choice you are completely free to make. You seem to think you don’t have a lot of choices, but you actually do.

    And if someone around you is driving like a jerk, instead of taking it as a personal insult, just try to avoid them and let it go. It’s very easy to assume that every bad thing that happens to you is ABOUT you, but in reality, almost none of it is. People drive like jerks around me all the time, too. Because it’s just really common for people to drive like jerks, that’s all. It has nothing to do with you or me, and your best course of action is to get some distance from them in as safe a way as possible. Because no one else’s distraction, stupidity or road rage is worth risking YOUR life over. Frankly, it isn’t even worth your anger.

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How about I just let you guys roast my whole life since I’m here?

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