Almost 10 years ago I met a guy who was 27, I was 19. It was out of the blue and I would have never even thought that after 10 years I would be devastated to forget him. Long story short, he always wanted us to get together, his intentions were pure, I could see it in his eyes, he was different. I was young, inexperienced, I tried to push away the feeling I did not even know what was exactly. We dated for a few months but then I told him this would not work. We had a wonderful time together, with long walks, talks, dinners, summer holidays. We never slept together, only kissed. He never forced it. Then came a few years pause when I started to feel bitter and that I was unfair with him. I learned from our mutual friends that he had a girlfriend, but only for a few months. I sent him an SMS and a date and that if there is a last chance after last chance, let us meet. He broke up and showed up 200km away… then he wanted to start again, or at least try. For some reason I ended things again. 4 years passed. Then one day in summer there was a concert. He already had a girlfriend for 3 years but when he saw me he grabbed the girl and rushed away in the opposite direction. Our mutual friend said I would always be a spot in his life, that is why he reacted that way. A few hours later he turned back, saw me and slurped all the wine in his glass at once with widened eyes. Summer passed, but not a day without me thinking about him and the what if’s… On his birthday we happened to show up at the same place he celebrated with his friends, and since I was with our mutual friend, we joined them. We talked for hours and it was like only the two of us were in the room. Then he suddenly just ignored me and left the place, then blocked me from every social media platform. I was devastated, I hoped for an even friendship at least, after all that happened. Then in a few weeks our mutual friend texted me that they are at the same bar and that he asked where I was. I joined them and we talked again like nothing happened. He called a taxi and we went to a party, but since we wanted to talk, we left after a few minutes. It was winter time, cold, but we walked and talked for like an hour. Both of us were in a relationship by that time. He admitted he felt the same way but still unsure, and needs some assurance if I think us to be serious. We met after that like 2 times then he invited me to his party in a few months. I did not go and he texted me “Wishing you much happiness” then that is the end. After this I contacted him last summer and we met again, he said he still feels the same and that our flame never seems to go out, but I said I will not do anything until we are still in a relationship. He said let us just meet and talk, he wants to see me. I did not show up because I did not feel he was honest. He called me, we talked for 1 hour then he said he never wants to hear from me again because I did not want to meet. He blocked me again. I wished him happy birthday and merry Christmas, no answer. Then first time after summer we met in February at the same bar. They were leaving when he saw me, and literally stepped back a few steps to make sure he saw me. He seemed surprise. A week later at the same bar he saw my boyfriend and looked at him for like 2 minutes. A week ago I realized he unblocked me on Instagram, and I feel like I miss him very much. I always wanted us to be friends, but he said friendship is not what he wants. If only I could talk to him one more time…What could I do to forget? It has been a hell to me since our last talk….