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Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

How do I confess to a girl who I know nothing about?

Home Forums Advice & Chat How do I confess to a girl who I know nothing about?

  • This topic has 10 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 1 week, 5 days ago by Anonymousse.
Viewing 11 posts - 1 through 11 (of 11 total)
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  • #1110595 Reply
    Maya
    Guest

    I’ve feel for a girl, I met her through us playing a mutual sport. She’s amazing in every way and I find myself falling for her more every time we talk. I want to confess because i’m scared we might not talk after we part ways. Problem is I know very little about her, we don’t meet often and when we do its brief. Should I give up?

    #1110597 Reply
    Kate
    Keymaster

    I think there’s a step between giving up and “confessing” (why is everything a confession with young people?), and that would be getting to know her and seeing if you can develop some rapport, even friendship. Do you even vibe with her, you know? It’s weird to go from barely talking to telling someone you think they’re amazing in every way and have feelings for them. That’s just a crush. It would be a lot better to be in a position to hang out with her and see where things go from there. Do the people in your sports league do bars or trivia nights or parties?

    #1110599 Reply
    WhyDoWeExist?
    Guest

    Do you have mutual friends? Maybe try to subtly engineer some kind of hangout with the lot of you. Yes, she will probably see right through it, but if she is interested in getting to know you better it shouldn’t bother her.

    If she doesn’t want to hang then you also have your answer, in which case you can stop torturing yourself.

    #1110614 Reply
    LisforLeslie
    Guest

    You know very little about her but you think she’s perfect and amazing and all the things. Right now you’re enamored by the idea of her – not the real her.

    See if mutual friends are interested in a get together. If you’re in the northern hemisphere it’s a great time for a day in the park or something casual. If she shows up talk to her. Ask her questions so that you actually get to know her.

    And stop with the confession crap young people (not just OP). Life doesn’t have to be some huge therapy session. You don’t have to be intensely in love to go on a freaking date.

    #1110615 Reply
    Miss MJ
    Guest

    I had no idea that “confessing” was a thing…what even? Anyway, I guess it’s probably weird in the age of dating apps and everything being online, but back in Ye Olde Days Of Yore, when you had an interest in someone that you met through a shared activity, you’d invite them to do something after said activity – grab a coffee or a quick lunch or a drink, whatever – and get to know them better. No swiping required. If you click romantically, great; if not, maybe you gain a friend or acquaintance.

    Do that, LW, not some weird “confession” thing where you spew all of your feelings onto this person that you’ve imagined being whatever in your head you want them to be. That’s a surefire way to weird someone out.

    #1110617 Reply
    Copa
    Participant

    I’d personally skip over the group hang route. Ask her out on a date if you’d like to get to know her more.

    #1110618 Reply
    LisforLeslie
    Guest

    @Copa – he doesn’t seem to know how to get in touch with her to ask her on a 1:1.

    As for the confessions – I’m going to be an oldster and blame social media. Really, shit like promposals and viral proposals and nonsense like that lead people to believe that everyone wants a big show – and I guess some people do, but a lot more people want their private lives to remain fairly private.

    If some dude started professing his love for me when I had met him a handful of times I’d think he was insane. I mean, I’m a fucking delight but you don’t know me dude.

    #1110620 Reply
    Copa
    Participant

    IDK. They play a sport together. That already seems like a group hang. (Though my experience of sports as an adult amounts to social leagues intended to foster connections and this may not be that.) Just seems easier and still low stakes to ask for her number and/or if she wants to grab a bite or drink after their next game than it would be to organize a group hangout. But regardless of approach, best to stop building up how you feel for someone you don’t know.

    #1110621 Reply
    Kate
    Keymaster

    Just going by Maya being a feminine name, I am assuming this is a female LW.

    #1110623 Reply
    Classic
    Participant

    I would just give her my contact information and tell her that I would like to keep in touch, or tell her that I would like to get to know her better.

    If she wants to contact you back, she will!

    Then, don’t rush in to any relationship. It takes time to get to know a person, and extracting yourself from a relationship is very much harder (and sometimes expensive) than never getting in to it in the first place.

    #1110632 Reply
    Anonymousse
    Guest

    I would just tell her you think she’s cool and ask her for coffee or something. Ask her for her number or even better, give her yours. Then as Classic said, she will get in touch if she wants.

    I do something similar as an adult to make friends and it’s not that weird, it’s just how people get contact info and maybe get in touch. Good luck!

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