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How do I deal with my neighbour?

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  • This topic has 3 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 2 months ago by Ali.
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  • #1083349 Reply

    My next door neighbour lives alone. He’s probably between 70 – 80 years old.

    For the past few months, he’s done nothing but complain about EVERYTHING.

    Around once or twice a month, I have friends over and we listen to music. I always make sure that music isn’t loud enough for any of my neighbours to hear. I also tell everyone to keep it down after 10pm, which they do. Every other weekend I’m working, so it’s dead quiet in my home. But my neighbour complains that he hears music and loud voices coming from my apartment on weekends. I don’t get how, because I asked my other neighbours and they said they actually thought that my apartment was empty (“What a surprise – we didn’t know anyone even lived there – it’s always so quiet”).

    A few weeks ago, my sister got a puppy. The puppy is with us all the time. If one of us goes out, the other stays home with the puppy, or we take him with us. We’ve only left him in the apartment twice – once when we went down to the pool for 30 minutes and again when we went to the restaurant across the street for dinner (we were gone an hour max). The puppy was asleep when we left both times and he was sound asleep when we got back. My neighbour said he heard constant barking while we were out. I’m sure the puppy could have woken up while we were gone, but I don’t see how it was constant barking the entire time.

    It’s really frustrating me that we can’t seem to do anything without him complaining. He can’t handle a few minutes of barking, when every other time we make sure it’s quiet. He can’t handle one night of music per month (music that gets turned off at 10pm and that the other neighbours can’t even hear because it’s not loud at all).

    He has an obsession with his balcony as well. We live across from the beach and it’s really windy. The wind blew a candy wrapper from my balcony to his balcony once. I never heard the end of it…
    I was cleaning my windows one time and a few drops of water accidentally splashed onto his balcony railing. He stuck his head out the window and shouted at me. My brother was smoking on my balcony a few days ago and he ashed into the ashtray. The wind blew some of the ash onto my neighbour’s balcony. He wrote me a letter of complaint and slid it under my front door (along with a photo of the speck of ash on his balcony).

    We really don’t want to disturb anyone and we do our best to be quiet, but he always seems to find something wrong. The other neighbours all have no issues with us. I don’t know how to deal with him anymore – I can’t even invite friends over anymore at all because I’m too stressed that he’ll complain. My sister thinks it’s because lockdown rules were lifted in our country a few months ago and the neighbour is probably used to the quiet – now he doesn’t know how to handle even the slightest noise.

    The thing is, our apartment building is a vacation spot. Most of the apartments are Air BnBs. Along with the loud, busy beach across the street, there are also restaurants, bars, clubs, etc. Why this man decide to retire here of all places if he wants peace and quiet??

    Any advice on how to deal with him? Talking to him doesn’t help. He just gets angry. I’ve tried writing him a letter too. Didn’t help…

    #1083403 Reply

    Well, what happens if you just nod politely to his face and then ignore him? Is your landlord going to take this guy’s complaints seriously? Can you just dismiss him as someone who’s dealing with some things (isolation, maybe pain, who knows) and not take his complaints too seriously?

    I mean, I wouldn’t want candy wrappers or ash blowing on my balcony either, and loud music after 10pm would seriously annoy me, but you say your other neighbors haven’t heard anything. Maybe just shrug and let it go.

    The only other thing I can think of is he has a problem with you for some other reason (like race or something) and is taking it out on you.

    But yeah, I’d probably just ignore it.

    #1083458 Reply

    He sounds like a grumpy old man with nothing better to do then keep tabs on you so he can complain.

    Call the landlord and ask about the insulation quality of insulation in-between apartments and how sound proof it might be. Talk to the landlord about your issues with this tenant and that you feel harressed constantly based on the fact that he seems to be very aware of what you do and when you are doing things. Ask if you can move to another apartment if one is available and will wait for one to be available if not.

    You other option would be to move.

    I am curious though, since you mentioned these apartments are Airbnb rentals. Are these apartments or condos because I’m pretty sure a tenant cannot sublease to airbnb as that would be against the leasing contract but if the landlord is airbnb renting out his units then you should easily be able to move apartments.

    #1084655 Reply

    This is a hard one.

    I think the best option as the person above said would be to call the landlord and talk to him about it and then ask to be move to a different apartment.
    But if there a time that you have to wait for this I would suggest baking something for the guy.
    People won’t know how to respond in this way if they want to dislike you it’s a way to throw a wrench into their program. Of course this is usually somewhat temporary.
    But he’ll sound silly if he goes to the landlord and says ‘they made me cookies which bothers me;’. You may not really like him at this point and may not want to bother him or make him something but this might work while you wait for your landlord to do something.
    I also want to say I really feel for you I know what it’s like to live with people in that age range and it can be tough sometimes. I think they sometimes have a lot on their minds and get easily disturbed. But it’s not you don’t take it to heart and you are doing your best in this situation.
    Take care.

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