Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

.

This topic contains 16 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by avatar ron 3 months, 3 weeks ago.

Viewing 12 posts - 1 through 12 (of 17 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #846165 Reply
    avatar
    tinkerbell
    Member

    .

    #846166 Reply
    avatar
    ron

    How old are you? It sounds like you can’t change his mind; she is running his life. Can your doctor and counselor speak to your father? Really, your age makes a huge difference in the proper answer.

    #846180 Reply

    Can you move out? Your dad sounds like an idiot. I’m sorry to say that, but a man who would choose his crappy and crazy gf over his kids is a total idiot.

    Leave, if you have somewhere safe to go. It’s his choice to be a total asshole and choose her. He’ll regret it forever but that’s not your fault.

    I’m so sorry. It can be really hard to rectify your parent vs, the one you wish you had and deserve. I hope you have other family who cares for you. I’m glad you’re seeing mental health specialists.

    #846182 Reply
    FireStar
    FireStar
    Participant

    Where’s your mom? Aunt? Grandparents? Is there no trusted adult to intercede for you?

    #846222 Reply
    avatar
    Logan

    I would just write him a letter or a nice long texts, this way he can’t interrupt you before you finish and to you can convey a lot more of your feelings and thoughts with out losing your train of thoughts, it’s harder to say certain words and express certain emotions in person vs writing/texting it. Write down how this lady is practically using him and not doing anything on her end.

    #846240 Reply
    avatar
    tinkerbell
    Member

    .

    • This reply was modified 3 months, 3 weeks ago by avatar tinkerbell.
    #846243 Reply
    avatar
    tinkerbell
    Member

    .

    #846245 Reply
    avatar
    tinkerbell
    Member

    .

    #846247 Reply
    avatar
    Essie
    Participant

    I’m really sorry you’re going though this. The sad truth is that some people just aren’t good parents. Your father just doesn’t seem to have it in him to be a good dad. I don’t think talking to him again is going to change anything.

    I think the way to approach this is through your mother. You and your sister shouldn’t have to spend time with him if he’s neglectful and mean, and you absolutely shouldn’t be giving him money. I think it’s time to revisit whatever custody arrangement your parents set up, and this nonsense about him pressuring you to give him money has to stop.

    You and your sister are not yet adults, and it’s your mother’s responsibility to take the necessary steps to protect you. Stop trying to change your dad. Ask your mother for help.

    #846248 Reply
    avatar
    Poppy
    Member

    This is so toxic. Since you are 17 yrs old it’s time for you to step away and seek individual counseling. There is nothing more you can do about the relationship between your dad and his wife and you. If you are alleging that your little sister is being neglect and exposed to domestic violence then child protective services should be called. Unless your mother is handling the situation with your little sister appropriately.

    #846250 Reply
    avatar
    tinkerbell
    Member

    .

    #846255 Reply
    avatar
    Allornone

    I’m sorry to say this, because I know this situation must be heartbreaking, but I don’t think there’s anything else you can do right now. You’ve tried to reach him, but he’s just won’t listen. I can understand the desire to take one last shot, and fine, do that, though don’t expect too much to come from it. Honestly, he should not be in your life right now. He’s a dangerous, abusive (emotionally and physically) force and you need to limit any contact you have with him (preferably to no contact at all, but you might have to be 18 for that). This situation might not last forever. Maybe he will come to his senses someday and leave her for good (maybe the actual loss of you will bring it about) and when/if he does, he will have to do some real work repairing your relationship and earning back your trust. But for now, all you can do is take care of you. Go to therapy. Limit your contact with him. Do NOT give him another cent. Your physical and mental safety are the most important things here. Be strong; be safe. I am so sorry this is happening. Know that’s it not your fault.

Viewing 12 posts - 1 through 12 (of 17 total)
Reply To: .
Your information: