Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

How do I properly communicate with women?

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  • #855049 Reply

    That shirt you linked to, I like the blue check one, but you should get it in long-sleeve, not short, because it’s fall now, going into winter. They have those same shirts with long sleeves.

    I understand the wide foot, my dad has it, and my right foot is pretty wide. Nevertheless, the black NB sneakers read “Senior citizen” and orthopedic. You need an update urgently on the footwear. I would strongly urge you to go to the mall today, but at least try because they have a huge selection and probably wide sizes. Or google men’s shoes wide sizes.

    The suit pic… hmm. I think if you had one pic of you wearing a full suit, and the rest were more laid back clothes, it would be fine. I would think about the background though. Maybe in front of a nice building or even a church. Get some good architecture in the background. Different tie, different shoes. Right now that picture isn’t doing anything for you.

    • This reply was modified 1 month ago by avatarKate.
    #855053 Reply

    Okay, the rewrite isn’t there yet. It’s better than what you had, but needs more work.

    The entire thing reads like, “I can be this, or I can be that. Whatever you want.” It’s wishy-washy. It doesn’t tell me who you are.

    You also don’t want to lead with being ambitious. Without other context, people assume workaholic, or work matters more to you than anything else.

    I’ll see today if I can whip something up that’s better. I’m an English major / MS in Communications, and I work in marketing, so I should be able to do something. It’s just that I’m not you, so I don’t know if I’m going to be able to make the true Robert shine through, and appeal to hetero women.

    #855066 Reply

    Absolutely not on the profile update. Not only is it wishy washy, nearly every paragraph is one long run on sentence. I’d pass on that alone.

    Think clever or witty. If neither are your thing, add in your personality. Make your profile stand out.

    #855070 Reply

    Don’t try to write something that you think women want to hear. You’re looking for women who are as set in their ways as you are. Be perfectly up front on that.

    I’m roughly the same age as you. I have a life with friends, family and my own priorities. If I was looking for someone I’d want a person with their own friends, family ties and priorities. I’d want someone who can merge into my life with minimal complications. Meaning, you are a piece that fits into the puzzle, you aren’t a puzzle I have to figure out or requires any major adjustments to accommodate you. Example, I couldn’t date a chef because their work hours and my work hours are completely and totally opposite – I would never see them. Or someone with a kid who was in multiple traveling teams that took them away every weekend. That’s awesome for them – not so much for me.

    So just say what you want.

    #855073 Reply

    Agree about the profile update. It’s still not showing who you are, Robert. And please tell me the list of things about you is not included because you have to get rid of the hopeless romantic line and all the stuff we talked about 20 pages ago.

    #855076 Reply
    Dear WendyDear Wendy

    Robert, I want to help you. I used to offer professional re-writes of dating profiles for a fee. It’s been years since I’ve done this and I’m a little rusty, but I know I’m good at it and I can do one for you for free. If you are happy with it, you can make a donation to me/the site and allow me to share the finished result here for readers to see. Email me if you’re interested: [email protected]

    #855082 Reply

    Oh praise the lord! I told him about that pages ago and how you had helped me, but he thought from the way the contact stuff is phrased that ppl can only write you for published letters. Thank you!!! You could make a world of difference in this man’s life. Did you see the google doc?

    #855083 Reply

    Robert, I honestly don’t understand how you determined what you needed was a more formal picture with a suit (in front of a random parking lot with some port-a-potties?) when we’d all been telling you to go more with more casual clothing. If all the other pictures were casual with one picture of you in a suit (somewhere more picturesque) that would be fine, but you definitely didn’t need a MORE formal outfit.

    If I wasn’t so sure this was really you, Robert, I’d honestly think you were trolling us.

    I’m so glad Wendy is on board with this. Not all heroes wear capes.

    #855084 Reply

    Please, please take Wendy up on her offer. Wendy you’re amazing.

    #855086 Reply
    Dear WendyDear Wendy

    I did see the Google doc, Kate. The profile isn’t terrible, but there’s a lot of room for improvement and I know I can help.

    Also, Robert, my husband has very wide feet and he loves Campers. Check them out – they way cooler than the shoes you’re currently wearing.

    #855091 Reply

    I am in communication with Wendy via email. I was delightfully blindsighted by her post.

    I know some of you wanted to see a few profiles and my responses to them. Once the profile gets straightened out I’ll put some of those in my doc. Obviously, that needs to be fixed, as well.

    anonymousse: I was not intending for that photograph to be placed in my profile. I looked back and see that I was not clear in that. I was interested in the opinions on the suit itself.

    #855092 Reply

    Awww, this is beautiful!

    I wouldn’t mind seeing the messages you’re sending, but probably don’t post stuff from the women’s profiles, because we don’t have their permission.

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