Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

How do I properly communicate with women?

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Viewing 12 posts - 949 through 960 (of 1,144 total)
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  • #873208 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    Indigo. Stop. You’re going to get banned shortly and not be able to access the site. I’m trying to delete any comment that attacks someone personally and calls them a name like “cunt,” while leaving the ones that simply disagree on principal. I also have a full-time job. I do this moderation for free. If you don’t like it, I don’t know what to tell you. Stop.

    #873209 Reply
    CopaCopa
    Participant

    Omg! I’m so glad you updated, Robert! I’m sorry to hear about your parents.

    It does seem like the needle is moving in the right direction, but verrrry slowly. I’m sorry you got ghosted, but it happens a lot in online dating and you should try not to let it get you down. The woman who wanted your social media, well… I thought you needed social media to have an account on the apps in the first place. That’s how it was when I was on there — I even had friends who weren’t on social media but created dummy Facebook accounts in order to use the apps. I used to verify that men were who they said they were on LinkedIn before meeting because it was the easiest way to find people when all I knew was their first name and what they did. I found too much digging on social media before meeting detrimental.

    The FOMO thing. I had a little bit of that when I started dating my boyfriend. I think mine was more a little bit of mourning of my single life, though. Since you’ve struggled getting dates, and still find yourself having FOMO when you ARE out with a woman, I think that could be a sign of avoidant attachment, just another unconscious mechanism for you to put distance between yourself and a great (but imperfect, because we’re all human!) potential partner. Therapy can help with this, so I’m glad you are reaching out to therapists. I think you should get appointments set up sooner rather than later because you may need to try a few therapists out before finding one who feels like a good fit.

    #873210 Reply
    avatarIndigo
    Guest

    Kate, Mr. Regina wanted to pick a fight and now that I’m jabbing back, it’s a problem??

    So be it. Let it be known any time that coward tries to bully me, I’ll be verbally digging in his ass more than he’s ever known.

    #873211 Reply
    avatarFyodor
    Guest

    Apropos of nothing, is there a policy for banning people from the forums?

    #873212 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    Um no you won’t. Again, I don’t think I left any comments where BGM called you a name, but if I did, oh well, this is a volunteer job and I have things to do for pay.

    Stop hijacking other people’s threads.

    #873214 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    Yes, Wendy and I have a policy, but you don’t need to worry about it, Fyodor, you’re fine. Check the rules for posting if you’re worried.

    https://dearwendy.com/faq/

    #873217 Reply
    avatarIndigo
    Guest

    So next time Mr. Regina harasses me, spends his whole time on a post fixating on my every word, encourages people to gang up on me, and tries to make me feel isolated, what exactly is it you would like me to do?

    #873218 Reply
    avatarFyodor
    Guest

    Thanks. You guys are much more forgiving than my local library and the bodega near my house.

    #873219 Reply
    avatarIndigo
    Guest

    And why precisely is Mr. Regina allowed to antagonize and harass without repercussion but when I speak truth on his cowardice, it’s an issue?

    #873220 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    Again. Since you’re not getting it. Name-calling isn’t okay. I deleted both BGM’s comments and yours (there were a lot more of yours) that called names.

    That’s what I do. What you do in the future is moot because you won’t be able to access these forums.

    #873221 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    And get off of Robert’s thread. This is so rude.

    #873223 Reply
    SkyblossomSkyblossom
    Participant

    I’m glad you’ve checked in Robert. I’ve been thinking about you for the past month and hoping everything is going well. I’m sorry your parents have been ill. My husband and I are in that demographic where our parents are always ill. I’m glad yours are getting better.

    It’s good that you are going to go to therapy. Talking to you in person should help to identify things we can’t begin to see.

    My own thoughts on FOMO. When you meet someone you really like and start falling in love you don’t care about what they don’t have or don’t do. You are so happy to have them in your life you are excited about who they are and feel lucky to have found them.

    I think the thing that I’ve personally felt the most FOMO over has been our house. We bought less than we could afford so that we could travel. I’ve loved the travel and still think we made a great decision but sometimes when I have driven past a house and seen what seems to be a huge, beautiful, new home I have experienced envy. As time has gone by the envy has pretty much disappeared and I find I don’t even like those homes anymore. They are all too much alike. Too much like cookie cutter copies of each other. What I’m trying to say is that the things you want can change over time and the things you think you are missing out on change.

    I think if you meet the right person you won’t care whether they have every trait you wanted. They will also probably bring new experiences into your life. You’ll find yourself trying things you didn’t consider important. Your interests will broaden. Getting to do something with them will be more important than the activity. Of course you will want to share your own activities but the important thing will be getting to do fun things with them.

    Maybe you spend so much time on holiday activities because you don’t have a partner who takes up some of your time. You get pleasure from those activities which helps to fill up the void you have from not finding pleasure in a relationship.

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