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How do I tell my daughter about her dad? (He's dead)

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This topic contains 29 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by avatar ron 2 weeks, 1 day ago.

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  • #829536 Reply
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    Ava

    How do I tell my nine year old daughter who her real father is? The Avuncular test results came in a few days ago and I’m crushed. Her father is dead and I keep putting this topic off. I hate having to tell her and even worse is having to tell her that he’s passed. How and when should I break the news. She doesn’t understand anything about DNA tests and I’m afraid that I will only confuse her.

    #829537 Reply
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    JD

    I don’t think this is the place for proper advice, I think you need to look into some professionals who have researched and written about the best way to go about these type of things. You don’t mention why you weren’t aware who her father was but surely if you didn’t know, you knew this conversation was going to come up at some point? I’d look into some resources and information available online.

    #829539 Reply
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    anonymousse
    Member

    Is this the two brothers story again?

    #829540 Reply
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    JD

    Oh gosh I sure hope not.

    #829541 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    Yes.

    #829542 Reply
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    JD

    Good lord woman get a hobby. At least find somewhere else to post since you know we all think (or rather know) you are out of your damn mind.

    #829543 Reply
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    Northern Star

    You have a very stupid 9-year-old if she can’t understand a basic explanation of how a DNA test would work.

    #829545 Reply
    bittergaymark
    Bittergaymark

    Eh… she NEVER knew him. This needn’t be that tragic. Tell her the truth. Unfortunately, your father died tragically, blah blah blah.

    #829546 Reply
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    golfer.gal

    Oh boy. This is…not healthy. Why are you worried about how your granddaughter’s mother tells her daughter (neither of whom you have a relationship with) that her father is your son who passed away? Let her deal with this. The good news is your other son, who is struggling with addiction and criminal activity, is not the father and can stop pressuring this poor woman into seeing her child. For the third and hopefully final time GET COUNSELLING. You need more help and guidance than we can give. Meet with a private therapist and also consider joining a grief supoort group to help you with these issues. You need to back WAY off this situation for a while and process your feelings before even attempting to contact or establish a relationship with your granddaughter. There are other people’s feelings at stake here. Please get some help.

    #829547 Reply
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    ron

    And why would you assume the child’s mother has a problem telling the child? This isn’t a great surprise to her. You say that she has insisted from day 1 that your dead son was the father. She had info you didn’t have. Only you are surprised that living son isn’t the father. So, all your schemes are now kerblooie. The big question is how are you going to react to this info and get on with your life. Writing in pretending to be the gf of your sons indicates the answer to that is not well at all. You need psychiatric help. You are very seriously in need. You seem to think everyone else has as little grasp on reality as you do. Your ruse here is 100% transparent — that’s what I thought, before I read down the responses and saw Kate’s confirmation that it is indeed you.

    #829550 Reply
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    Ange

    Oh my lord 🙄

    Oke day you’ll come up with a hot take that bamboozles everyone into giving you the answer you want but in the meantime get help.

    #829551 Reply
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    Kate

    You really do need professional help. You’re bonkers.

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