Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

How to be better in my relationship?

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  • #1088854 Reply

    LW are you the same person who wrote in about your fiance’s proposal and your friend who was taken to Europe?

    Are you happy with your fiance? Do you love him? Do you feel loved in your relationship?

    #1088857 Reply

    Yes, it’s the same avatar.

    #1090275 Reply

    Apologies for the delayed reply and thank you for getting back to me. Yes I also wrote the other post.

    Everything in terms of personality, what we want in the present and future, our thoughts and views are all aligned. We have had all the big conversations including marriage, kids, location, religion, politics and our views all match.

    I think for me the biggest thing is that I waited so long to be in a relationship that my ideas and dreams got too rooted in my mind and so when things don’t happen as they are in my mind, I start wondering if something is wrong.

    I also have an issue with perfection- i want it all to be right the first time. But my last few therapy sessions have helped me realise i am a perfectionist and I am starting to let that go bit by bit.

    I had an open and honest conversation with my partner and we talked about everything and it felt so refreshing because it felt like we had not talked openly in months.

    Since then, I have started to let go of the idea that everything must be perfect and to stop comparing myself to my friends and social media (it really is the devil). And focus on myself a bit more.

    Sometimes I do wonder what if there is something more out there – mainly because this is my first relationship but when I weigh things up and how my partner accepts me for who I am, accepts all my flaws, gives me great advice. I don’t think I could be with a better person. Just because it isn’t exactly how I used to think it would be doesn’t mean it’s not right.

    Because of a private reason, we still have not had sex and I love that he has been so patient with me and supportive and helping me.

    And I think I overlook those things sometimes. Part of the reason why I was unsure is because I was scared of making a mistake – but you can’t avoid making mistakes in life – how can you learn otherwise right?

    I am continuing therapy, maybe I also need to get my head out of the clouds – just a little bit.

    I also need to trust myself and my decisions. I started dating him for a reason when I hardly gave anyone a chance and it was because of his personality and I saw what a genuine guy he is.

    Thank you everyone!

Viewing 3 posts - 13 through 15 (of 15 total)
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