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How to deal with a rude neighbor

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Viewing 12 posts - 97 through 108 (of 117 total)
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  • #875399 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    I get all of that, Skyblossom. I am just shocked, absolutely stunned, that someone would maliciously walk by and open a gate with the obvious intention of dogs running out and getting hit by a car. That’s sick.

    And yeah, no kidding she could have called the police. Notice she didn’t though. She knew what she did.

    “ The woman could easily have opened the gate to see if any of you belonged there with no thought of killing puppies.” No, she didn’t. She casually and deliberately lifted the latch and kept right on walking, knowing that the gate swings out when you do that. It would have been reasonable to ask us if we lived there, but that’s not what she did.

    Finally, there are no signs on the outside of the gate that say private property. When I used to take my dog in there (in past year), there were signs that said “please clean up after your dog.”

    • This reply was modified 1 month, 2 weeks ago by avatarKate.
    #875402 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    And if my husband did go to jail for harassing a woman (on a public sidewalk) who tried to kill dogs, I’d proudly bail him out.

    #875404 Reply
    SkyblossomSkyblossom
    Participant

    She could be malicious and you could still have a police report filed on you. If it was my kids or a friend of mine in this situation I’d tell them to stay away from that property. If she did file a police report you wouldn’t know unless they managed to identify you. They could ask for extra police patrols in the area to protect elderly ladies from angry people who don’t belong.

    #875406 Reply
    SkyblossomSkyblossom
    Participant

    You’d have to prove that she tried to kill dogs. She could say she was going to go in there and then was too scared and had to rush away or that she was checking to see who was there because they have had problems with trespassers doing damage and your husband would look bad. He would appear to be the man with anger issues wanting to attack a defenseless, elderly lady.

    It isn’t worth it to go there.

    #875407 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    I honestly don’t care. I won’t go in there again. All the times I have in the past, I followed the signs that said “clean up.” I talked to residents and they talked to me.

    The police wouldn’t do anything about this. They didn’t do anything about the violent drunk guy who followed a woman into our building at 2am the other night and screamed and banged on doors and yelled “cunt” and all kinds of stuff. Our building manager has the whole thing on camera, but the perp is a white guy with no prior record and didn’t damage any property, so no charges were filed. They just talked to him and sent him in an ambulance.

    You do sound like a dog-killing apologist on here whenever the topic comes up.

    #875408 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    And I don’t have to “prove” anything, Skyblossom. We all know what we saw, and none of us are calling the police.

    Finally, she was in her 50s, not elderly, not that it – again – matters because no ones calling the police.

    #875411 Reply
    SkyblossomSkyblossom
    Participant

    I don’t agree with killing dogs. I did grow up in an area where people shoot dogs that begin running wild and I know that is how dog control is done is most rural areas. The people doing it also own dogs that they love. It’s a protective thing not a hate thing.

    Every person you meet isn’t going to automatically love your dog and want it around just like every person isn’t going to love a cat wandering around.

    We had two cats that we would let outside. Then our town passed an ordinance that cats must be kept on the owners property so we then kept our cats on our property. Our neighbor brought over the newspaper article where it was announced and showed me. We didn’t get angry but we did get invisible fencing for cats. It was pretty expensive and not something we had planned to purchase but it ended up being part of living in town with cats and being a responsible owner. One of the reasons we chose a house outside the city limits was to be able to let our cats outside without needing invisible fencing. It wasn’t the reason we moved but when we did move it definitely affected where we looked and purchased our current house. I was very aware that not everyone would want my cats on their property. We ended up with new neighbors who didn’t mind our cats so that was lucky for us.

    I’m very much for people being responsible owners.

    Believe it or not, I feel bad for most of the dogs living in our area. Next door has an elderly dog that is well cared for. Next to them there is a house with numerous dogs that are all kept outside with no shelter. Two doors the other way there are dogs that run wild to the point they get run over or they get shot. I don’t know of any of their dogs surviving even two years. It’s really sadly pathetic. Most of the dogs out here suffer and I’d be happy if the dogs were taken away from them and good homes were provided for them.

    People have started bringing dogs into the place I work even though they aren’t allowed. Some we love to see because they are well behaved and the owners are nice. We give dog biscuits to one of the dogs. Then we have the people who don’t have well behaved dogs or the owners who aren’t nice and everyone complains about them.

    In general, it isn’t the dog but the owner who creates a problem.

    If you would be perceived as the person in the wrong you shouldn’t do it.

    #875413 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    Yes, again, I understand all of that. I’m not sure why the ongoing lecture about pet ownership. As I told you, I had been in there several times in the past (not with this dog), and noted the signs and followed them. I can sense that you want me to be wrong in this case, and sure, it’s possible, but it hasn’t changed my opinion that the woman was a malicious asshole.

    #875416 Reply
    SkyblossomSkyblossom
    Participant

    I’m not saying you are a bad owner. I know you love your dog and give it good care and protect it. Many people aren’t good dog owners and most people have had experiences with bad owners. People look at a situation and don’t know which they have or which they are seeing.

    The thing is to not give any traction to the other person. The thing is to be in the right so that they are in the wrong. If she lives there and you don’t then she is perceived as being in the right.

    I would give this advice to my kids or friends. Avoid that place unless invited by someone who lives there. Be in the right so that you can’t be in the wrong.

    To anyone walking by seeing what happened your husband was following a woman and shouting at her. He would be seen as being the aggressor. Angry men are seen as being aggressive. Someone up or down the street probably wouldn’t have seen the dogs. All they know is that the woman started to open a gate and suddenly there is an angry man shouting at her and following her. Your husband becomes the threatening man who makes the neighborhood unsafe.

    You and your husband don’t want to be in that position. You don’t want someone calling 911 because they think they see some guying wanting to assault a woman.

    #875417 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    Yes, I understand all that already, and it doesn’t change my position. In fact, people who were there or passing by were like, wtf, that’s fucked up.

    Even if someone saw my husband yelling at her and thought, “wow, a guy harassing a lady,” I mentioned before that I do not care. I would bail him out of jail and be proud of him for calling out an asshole.

    Do you want to keep lecturing me on why you think I should care? Do you want to keep telling me to avoid that place after I said several times we will not go back in that yard because obviously it’s dangerous? Not sure what you want me to get here that you think I’m not getting.

    #875420 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    Further, if someone parks in your parking space that says “private, tow zone,” do you A) sabotage their car so it blows up when they turn it on, killing them, B) slash their tires / key their paint, or C) call the towing company and have them towed? Or maybe even D) leave a note that says this is actually a private spot and next time you’ll have them towed?

    Even if you don’t want to confront anyone, I think it’s a lot less fucking demented to just call cops or animal control or whatever than try to get an animal killed. Which is absolutely what this woman did, regardless of having to prove it, which isn’t an issue.

    #875421 Reply
    TheLadyETheLadyE
    Guest

    @Kate, wow, that sounds totally fucked up and I’m glad your husband did what he did. My boyfriend would have done the same thing.

    A former coworker of mine was being abused by her ex husband (NC does so little when it comes to DV because “the kids have to have a relationship with their father!” ugh) and he left something in the yard to poison their puppy. She had to rush him to the vet multiple times while trying to work, pay lawyer fees, and support her 3 kids. It was disgustingly sick.

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